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By Ghost
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09 November 2007 |
Oceanic ballerina
May liberty stay yours
As I watch in awe and wonder
From these cold and tethered shores
Like a bird in liquid sky
Such elegance in your prance
As you leap towards the stratosphere
From the waters that you dance
Since man set sail the ocean
You’ve endeavoured to befriend
In return this senseless carnage
No mortal could defend
Those tuna nets of averice
Cast by the merciless hand
Once again mankinds adversity
I fail to understand
You wear a smile of permanence
Yours eyes so deep they yearn
Still we in our naivety
Neglect the chance to learn
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Written by Phil (6439 comments posted) 9th November 2007 | Well put together, but edges a little too close to anthopomorphism for me.
Phil. |
Written by Phil (6439 comments posted) 9th November 2007 | | Sorry... anthRo... |
Written by stevetroster (1438 comments posted) 9th November 2007 | Anthropomorphism aside, this poem verges on attributing human form, characteristics, or human behaviour to nonhuman things.
A nice sentiment that is quite nicely delivered, however there are vastly fewer net casters than there are tuna eaters.
The fishermen get paid to fish, whilst some pay them to fish and most others pay for that which they have fished. So who is to blame?
And is it any more merciless than sitting down to a nice lamb chop for your Sunday dinner?
Bah-bah black sheep, do you like mint sauce??
All the best of British beef,
Steve.
 | Dolphins
Written by Josie (2548 comments posted) 9th November 2007 | | Very nicely written, with good subject, good rhyming and rhythm. Only one line seemed to me a little uneven: Such elegance in your prance - but I could be wrong. Well done! | nice
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 9th November 2007 | | Its a nice write thats gets many wringing their hands but for me of greater concern is the starving kids in the world , dolphins come a long way down the list | Thank You
Written by Ghost (21 comments posted) 11th November 2007 | | Thank you for your comments, Starving kids and lamb chops aside, there is something about a dolphins eyes I couldn't quite put my finger on until now Anthropomorphism. |
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