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Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 14th November 2007 |
'No man is an island?'
I think your last verse tells us that we are all islands, and in it's deepest sense, when the crunch comes, we are entirely alone.
Great words. |
enjoyed
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 14th November 2007 |
| Very angsty Brian- bit of a departure from your usual. I really like the rhythm you've got going here and the use of natural forces as emotional pressures. Particularly liked the enfolding of bones in the earth. |
Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 14th November 2007 |
I thought about the title for a while - and while I may be off the mark, I settled for atheism. Others fit, but my interpretation of the piece as a whole seems to fit that. I do like a good riddle.
Sue wrote about poetic motion the other day. The cadence you've created here moves this
inexorably to its inevitable end. Lots of other things to admire. I particularly liked some of the deliberate (I'm assuming) double meanings. Loved:
among others' bones that already lie there
As with all your poetry, there's something new at each reading - and I don't think that's just because of my poetic slowness. It is a very rich piece in imagery and meaning.
There's another much more personal response to this, but it needs more thought, and here isn't the place.
One of your best I think - although I'm not sure you feeling that way during the creation.
Phil
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3569 comments posted) 14th November 2007 |
This poem made me uncomfortable I felt I was in dangerous territory. There was a feeling implied threat here. I didn’t try to work out what A might be as I read. It would interfere with my reaction to it. I work from the heart not head, but
“cochlear mines of despair”
made me think of Alzheimers which is the most cruel of diseases but it could apply to so many other things as well which is a testament to the subtlety of the writing.
This went beyond solipsistic angst; this was real emotion. There was a universality to this that took in something of the human condition.
The feeling of isolation was palpable with all the desperate questions posed. I was struck by the beauty of the phrases, which contrasted with the bleakness of their expression. You are caught out while admiring the lyrical grandeur to be suddenly hit by the overpowering desolation which is expressed. It’s a powerful piece, which has made me feel quite unsettled and I can’t remember the last time that happened.
Jane
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It wrote itself
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 14th November 2007 |
The soundof this poem has been ringing in my head for a long time, and it finally it forced its way out,meeting no resistance on my part, with the words and the rhythm melding without much effort of mine .
Thanks to all who have commented , here and elsewhere. Sorry if it disturbed, but I am happy that it struck some chords.
patterjack |
Angry?
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 15th November 2007 |
Like Jane I felt the positive assertion of threat in your words. Intentional or not. Maybe you were angry when you wrote this? No matter. You'll be angry if you get a glib comment! To which end I would say only that 'Blarney Billy' [ Yeats ] hi'self could have owned up to this one. Better praise than that? Perhaps you should get angry more often?
Slan! |
Written by Fledermaus (3491 comments posted) 15th November 2007 |
| Very strong indeed, although I have no clue what it is about. Un-poetic as I am I first thought of trapped miners, but I asume that's a too simplistic interpretation, so I take it as an expression of loneliness. Very interesting. |
Written by no1butClo (341 comments posted) 15th November 2007 |
I read this before but wasn't sure what to make of it. It brings to mind images that range from a loved one suffering from long-term illness, to a lonely person watched from afar, to general anger at the way people treat each other
you've got something really deep here B, I love it
clo x |
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 16th November 2007 |
A desperate need to be rescued, a real feeling of abandonment. I love this poem, it's rhythm is spot on.
Great stuff |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 16th November 2007 |
| My interpretation is that you are searching for something greater than yourself - something that will care for you when you can't care for yourself when you need someone most. For me, this would have to be God, for he has always seemed to sustain me when I have been at my lowest points in life, even when I was near to death - and of that I am quite certain. |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 16th November 2007 |
| I meant to add that my interpretation of A = atheist, for don't atheists believe that only they can care for themselves - that there is no larger spiritual force than themselves? I am perhaps wrong. |
No
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 16th November 2007 |
A is not for atheist , nor, as has been suggested elsewhere , for age arthritis angst anger abandonment or Australia-- or even archaeology. Nor yet loneliness or trapped miners
I assure you all that i am not trying to be smart or obscurantist or superior as some on this forum attempt to be -- it just happens to be an esoteric personal reference , fairly literary and something that has been with me for sixty years or so.
Thank you all for your generous responses
patterjack
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