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Bomb Plot Derailed by Internet Shopping Fiasco |
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By Livinginanattic
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14 November 2007 |
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A major bombing campaign has been thwarted after a cash-strapped terror cell decided to shop online for their raw materials.
The would-be bombers were desperately short of funds due to the failure of their money laundering business and a mix-up over currencies. This meant they had to use cheap fertiliser obtained from a little known firm called BackstreetBombs. They got off to a bad start when they had to make five attempts and a call to the bank before the order was accepted.
Two days later the group received an e-mail apologising that the fertiliser was out of stock and could not be despatched for another month. Then there was a further delay caused by a small explosion at the delivery depot before the goods were finally loaded onto the van. However, instead of being delivered to the correct address the sacks were thrown over a fence at a nearby farm during a torrential downpour.
After attempting to track the order online the men contacted BackstreetBombs to chase the missing consignment. Six days and numerous phone calls later the goods were located. By this time four of the sacks had gone missing. The remaining two were damaged and their contents now useless for bomb making so they had to be returned.
Abdul, the group leader, made a couple of very irate phone calls before the damaged bags were collected and a replacement order sent out. When it arrived all the men were at the local mosque so the goods were left with Mrs Richards next door.
Curiosity got the better of Mrs Richards so she checked inside one of the unmarked bags, which, due to another error, contained icing sugar. Thinking the white powder was an illegal substance, she called the local police and the men were duly arrested as they returned home from prayers.
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Poor Mrs Richards
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3186 comments posted) 14th November 2007 | That was the bit that made me laugh out loud. Having dangerous stuff casually dumped on her by the post office, as they were out, wonderful!
I wonder if she is often called upon to sign for stuff delivered to the Mosque as she lives near. I don't suppose she would recognise spare parts for AK47s.
Well handled and silly enough not to cause any offence. I thought is was a great concept .I could just imagine them trawling through ebay and having to deal with incompetent mail order firms, really funny.
While there are people like Mrs Richards around we have nothing to fear!! We will defeat them with sheer incompetence
cheers
Jane | Hi LIA
Written by jean.day (2208 comments posted) 14th November 2007 | | This is great fun. You can almost imagine that it might be true. |
Written by gshelme (152 comments posted) 15th November 2007 | I really enjoyed this, funny and well written.
Gill  | Nice work.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 15th November 2007 | Well, Livinglunatic, this has all the makings of a serious hoot. Not sure you caught the full force of it, but very good nonetheless. The germ of the idea -- shopping on line terrorists-- is priceless. More could be made of this. A script possibly.
Well done!
Slan! |
Written by woody44 (768 comments posted) 15th November 2007 | Nice concept Living, I love the ineptitude of all concerned, a wonderfully satirical idea for a very serious subject. Long Live Mrs Richards!
Well done
Roger |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 16th November 2007 | Thanks for your comments Jane, Jean, Gill, Gerard and Roger.
Jane and Gerard, I can see where this idea could go now - guns, mortars, high explosives and other terrorist paraphernalia all going astray and ending up God-knows-where. With a few more characters this could well be worth a script or 2.
Cheers,
Ben |
Written by Lizzy (782 comments posted) 16th November 2007 | Yes, a great basis for a longer story. The character of Mrs R. could be built up quite considerably, maybe MI5's answer to terrorism.
Good one.
Lizzy | something to ponder ...
Written by Bagheera (679 comments posted) 31st December 2007 | Don't know why i didn't spot this when it was first published!
If you're looking to turn it into a script, I can almost "see" the bumbling incompetence of a "Dad's Army" type scenario as an ideal 'vehicle' for the storyline!! |
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