Feathers fluffed and preened the poet
Bangs against the cuttlefish.
Tapping loudly ‘gainst his mirror
Writes his lines of twitterings.
Beshitted newsprint down below him
Puts his 'masterpiece' to shame.
|
Written by fellpony (1580 comments posted) 18th November 2007 |
Phil, Phil, you might at least have put some appallingly obvious rhymes into this  But an amusing metaphor all the same! |
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 18th November 2007 |
| Alas, too obvious - and rude. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 18th November 2007 |
I once knew an old eccentric in Bristol who owned parrots and he taught one to repeat obscene rhymes and claimed the parrot made them up.It kept him drinks when he took it down the local pub. Probably wouldn't be allowed now. Just thougth I'd share the tale as you reminded me of it.
I dont know about rude, phil, but I sensed a strong note of vitriol here.
Jane |
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 18th November 2007 |
A wonderful piece of ‘cutting’ edge poetry, up there with the best of Oli’s.
I particularly liked “Beshitted newsprint down below him puts his 'masterpiece' to shame”.
Fresh feces on a crap thesis, perhaps?
All the best,
Steve.
|
who's
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 18th November 2007 |
an unhappy birdy then ?
patterjack |
Hi Phil
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 18th November 2007 |
| It made me laugh. I too liked the line that showed the shitty newspaper was the superior work of art. |
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 19th November 2007 |
| I do hope this is not a reflection of your own life Phil. ha ha There you are writing your twitterings onto the screen, whilst all around you is ----- what? This must stop at once! |
Phil....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 19th November 2007 |
Though its a witty and catching piece of verse, Phil, I do wonder why you waste your time-- and breath-- upbraiding humdrum rhymesters.
Jane it was who made the point that a vastly greater amount of detritus is deposited on the Poetry Site than on, say, Comedy. Too true. But then conversely look at the least reviewed, Extended. Simply because to the casual observer it takes that much longer to plough through a piece on Extended than on Poetry which, at its worse-- and by God it is so often at its worse-- is cheap in time terms; easy to access; and frequently drivel. Any boshunna can bang up a few lines in the time it takes for a dog to whistle through its arse. And so often does.
Leaving aside the truely outstanding and imposing writers on Poetry : Talisker; Patterjack; Clo; Josie; Fellpony and Gutterkitty. Whatever they write and whenever they write, you sit up and pay attention. Why? Because in their writing they give the sense of 'moving somewhere'. A sense of the priceless importance of wordcraft. As opposed to the aimless Chat Room banter of so much else which occasionally might, just might, stagger to the level of competence. OK so you can chance your arm on Poetry. OK; so you can chance your arm.
Why bother to spend time reviewing and, more to the point, taking issue with such adolescent claptrap. It may be cool to be clever on GW. But that doesn't matter a row of beans in the cut-throat world of real critics and real poets!?
You are better than all this. Your 'School Poems' may not have been great art; but they were great fun! And great fun sells. It may take time, but my gut instinct tells me that there is a market for these rhymes. You should forget about telling titsup how to do their business; and instead concentrate on yourself.
My advice to you would be to concentrate on pushing and perfecting those splendid and subversive ' verses '. Forget about silly, spotty, schoolboy japes and irritating fourteen year old's jokes about farts behind the flinnies. Not to mention surreal cererbal lines about fuck all. . None gives a fuck about them. Instead do concentrate on promoting what you do so well.
My fondest compliments to you.
Slan!
|
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 19th November 2007 |
Thanks for reading.
Good point - and well made Gerard - but, I do like poetry. I know I'll never be a great writer of verse - but there's something about it that pulls me in. As far as being published goes. I am chasing that goal, and not with poetry. Frustrating times at the moment.
Phil |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
Previous item
