Act Four:

[Lights up again on the same room, it is evening again, the room is as it has been, not changed, the curtains are open even though it is evening, street light floods the otherwise dark room. Nick sits alone on the bed, the music is very loud, Kasabian perhaps. Empty cans of lager cover the floor, he has one in his hand. He has thrown the wad of money all over the room, some lies everywhere and anywhere. Two grand, it seems, goes a long way.]

[There’s an insistent knock at the door, rhythmic, apparently going along with the music. After a while Nick notices it and gets slowly from the bed, tripping as he does and at one point ending up sprawled, legs akimbo, on the chair. Soon enough he gets to his feet and manages to walk into the kitchen and answer the door. We see him wander back into the room, closely followed by Sarah. She looks better than she did the morning after the night before. As if she’s dressed for work, black dress, black eye make-up, the whore with an air of class perhaps.]

Sarah: Nick are you gonna bloody talk to me? What the hell have you been doing, look at this place it’s a right state. Nick! I can’t bloody well hear myself think. (She turns the music off, the room is flooded with silence, Nick is momentarily deafened.) What the hell is going on?
Nick: I love you you know.
Sarah: Oh Nick. I don’t need to hear that now.
Nick: But I do.
Sarah: Is that what this is all about? You’re pinning like some spoilt little schoolboy for something that you can’t have. Very grown up Nick, very grown up.
Nick: Would you like a drink?
Sarah: No I don’t want a bloody drink. Is that why you called me, ‘it’s an emergency’ you said, ‘you’ve got to come over right now’ you said. Do you know how much money I’m losing tonight because of this?
Nick: I do actually. (He laughs drunkenly at the dramatic irony.)
Sarah: This isn’t funny you drunken fool. What am I even doing here?
Nick: Do you have any feelings for me Sarah?
Sarah: Yes. I do as a matter of fact. Probably not the ones you were wanting though, at the moment most of them fall somewhere between resentment and pity.
Nick: You really do have a lot of character don’t you.
Sarah: What? Look I’m not in the mood for your shite. I’m sorry we couldn’t be together Nicholas but life is a touch more complicated than that. There are other factors in control other than you and me. Just fucking well deal with it. I don’t even know what I’m what I’m doing here, right I’m going now I don’t need this.

[She makes to go]

Nick: Oh what, are you off to fuck another politician are you. Well give him one from me why don’t you. If it’s Tony Blair then can you give him a message from me. Can you please tell him I think he was a wanker for going to war against Iraq. Probably why he did it, too busy with his head between your legs to think about his fucking country.

[Pause]

Sarah: You are drunk, drunk and far too aggressive to talk to, and I, I am most definitely in the wrong place. I am going now. See you round Nick.
Nick: I found your sock.
Sarah: My what?
Nick: Your sock, you lost it yesterday morning. Well actually I found it and hid it to delay your departure.
Sarah: You did what? Oh Nick. Yesterday was…well yesterday we both said some things we didn’t mean.
Nick: And some things we did mean.
Sarah: You know why we can’t be together. It wouldn’t work. There’s too much at stake. Too many differences…too many differences between us, too many factors against us.
Nick: ‘Too many factors against us’! I don’t give a shit about any factors Sarah. None of that means anything. It’s all a load of shit. You think I’ve been sitting here pining after you then you’re very wrong darling. You think my recent and apart depravity is anything to do with you then you are living further up your own arse than I’ve given you credit for. Well actually it does have something to do with you, but not in the way that you may be thinking. I met a friend of yours today…
Sarah: (suddenly uncomfortable) Oh yes? And who was that?
Nick: I think you know.
Sarah: Well I don’t, so perhaps you could enlighten me.
Nick: A guy.
Sarah: A guy? Who? (She sees the money) Nick, why is there money all over your room?
Nick: Oh that. Well that all ties in nicely that does. This is blood money.
Sarah: Blood money? If you don’t start talking sense soon I’m going to have to leave Nick.
Nick: Hollow threat.
Sarah: Hollow threat?
Nick: Yes Sarah, hollow threat, you’re not going to leave until you find out what is going on. Now are you going to keep repeating back to me everything that I say or are you going to listen?
Sarah: (Walking about the room) There’s money everywhere. Where did you get all of this? There must be about a grand here.
Nick: Two grand actually. Your friend gave it all to me.
Sarah: Why?
Nick: So that I won’t see you anymore.
Sarah: Who was this ‘friend’?
Nick: Dave I think he gave his name as. Lovely chap, whores women out for a living. Got a bit of a self-inflated ego problem. Very wealthy I imagine. Awful dress sense. All a bit too Phil Mitchell for me.
Sarah: Oh him.
Nick: Yes ‘him’.
Sarah: What did he want with you?
Nick: He wants me to stay away from you. Quite fond of you he is, can’t afford to lose you. Won’t afford to lose you I think is more accurate actually.
Sarah: I don’t understand, why does he care about you? I mean you’re no-one.
Nick: Thanks for that. Well it turns out that he seems to think that I have encouraged you to leave behind the oldest profession and start life anew. He, quite understandably, doesn’t want you to go. Went into quite graphic detail about exactly what you do for him. Lovely to hear that was.
Sarah: Oh Nick. I had no idea he would do that.
Nick: Of-course you didn’t.
Sarah: And this is the money that he tried to pay you off with.
Nick: This is how much you’re worth to him it seems.
Sarah: (sitting on the arm of the sofa) I think I’ll have that drink now.
Nick: Right you are.

[Nick gets up and looks around for a glass. He finds the one that Dave drank from before, then finds the whisky, knocks one back himself and then pours one for Sarah. He hands her the glass and she smiles a weak smile back at him.]

Sarah: So what exactly does he want you to do?
Nick: Make you feel worthless. Like you can’t change your current station for anything else. And then not see you again. He seems to think that that will be enough for him to keep you under his wing.
Sarah: I see. And why are you telling me all of this. Aren’t you scared of him?
Nick: More scared of losing you.
Sarah: Well you shouldn’t be. You don’t know him like I do. You don’t know the things that he’s capable off. I’ve seen him force teenage girls into group sex with a room full of people just with the threat of violence.
Nick: I’m not a teenage girl Sarah.
Sarah: No, which means he won’t think twice about killing you. Think exactly what you mean to him. At the moment he can use you to get at me. If that fails he’ll have no need to keep you around.
Nick: Hadn’t thought of it like that. Shit. (Pause) What are we going to do?
Sarah: I’m going to not see you anymore, that’s what we’re going to do. I can’t have your murder on my conscience.
Nick: So you’re just going to stay as a whore for the rest of your life are you? Fan-bloody-tastic.
Sarah: I’ll just have to wait a bit longer. Until you’re out of the picture. Then when you’ve fallen from the loop and he’s forgotten about you I can leave. Maybe I could wait until I’m thirty. He might let me go.
Nick: He’ll never let you go.
Sarah: He might, if I make him enough money.

[Nick gives a disgusted ‘too much information’ face as he imagines the scenario.]

Nick: What, by fucking more politicians? Yeah, great idea Sarah.
Sarah: Well to be honest with you Nick I really don’t have a fat lot of choice do I?
Nick: We could go away. You and me. Far away somewhere. I’ve got my two grand to get us started. We could go somewhere hot. What do you say? New start, for both of us.
Sarah: I don’t think so sunshine.
Nick: That’s what he called me.
Sarah: Whatever. Look this isn’t a film Nick. There won’t be a happy ever after. Life will go on for both of us. Say we do go away somewhere, apart from living under the constant fear of Dave finding us, and find us he will, we’ll have no friends, no family and no way of getting in contact with anyone either. All we’ll have is each other, day in day out. We can’t agree on anything, imagine what we’ll be like if it was only the two of us, all the time, just you and me, forever. I can’t live my life like that. We’ll end up hating each other after the first week, but we won’t be able to come back because we’ll both be killed if we do…(she starts crying, breaks down. Nick hugs her close to him.)
Nick: We’ll never know if we don’t try. Look, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. The thought of not having you there. Knowing that you’re with him and doing, what you do would kill me. I’d rather be dead than not have you.
Sarah: (collecting herself) Well have you ever thought that maybe I wouldn’t.
Nick: What do you mean?
Sarah: There’s more to life than love Nick. You’re too much of a romantic. Too sensitive. This is the real world and this is a very real problem. We have no choice. I’m not going to run away with you. I’m not fifteen anymore. We have to face this problem with open eyes and that means biting the bullet and not seeing each other anymore, because the alternative is one of us will end up dead.
Nick: I see.
Sarah: Do you? Do you actually or have you not listened to a word that I’ve said as usual.
Nick: No, I understand. I think.
Sarah: Good. (Pause) Tight spot eh.
Nick: Indeed.
Sarah: It was never supposed to be between you and me Nick. Too many factors against us. I shouldn’t have let it get as far as it did. Probably best to end it before it goes any further.
Nick: Well, I personally will always be glad of the time that we had together. And will always regret that it couldn’t have gone on longer.

[Pause]

Sarah: Me too.
Nick: So that’s it then is it? I can’t see you anymore? You’re just going to let this bully get his own way are you?
Sarah: Don’t really have much choice do I. This isn’t the schoolyard, bullies get their own way in life. If someone like Dave wants to get his own way then who are you or I to stand in his way?
Nick: It just seems so bloody unfair that’s all. Letting that arrogant prick win. Someone should teach him a lesson. He needs putting in his place.
Sarah: Don’t get any stupid ideas Nick. I know what you’re like. Alone in your flat getting drunk, stupid ideas will get into your head and you’ll only end up getting yourself hurt…or worse. We make decisions in life and we have to live with the consequences. Dave wins because he has the biggest punch to give. He has the most money, the most power and the most single-minded selfishness. That means that he gets what he wants. That’s the way the world works. Learn from this. Live to fight another day. You’re still vaguely young, you’ve still got your whole life ahead of you. You’ll forget me and move on to greater things. Who knows you might even meet someone that’s actually quite good for you, sometime soon.
Nick: No I won’t.
Sarah: I’m pretty sure you will.
Nick: And what about you?
Sarah: I always knew that being a prostitute was going to mean that I would have to give up a normal life. I could work in Sainsbury’s for forty years if I wanted but what would my life mean? I’ll just keep doing this until he eventually lets me go.
Nick: But you shouldn’t have to.
Sarah: I know. C’est la vie eh.
Nick: Shame.
Sarah: Look, go and get me a sandwich from the shop downstairs will you.
Nick: What?
Sarah: I’m hungry, I haven’t eaten all day, I’d like a sandwich so can you go and get me one please.
Nick: A sandwich?
Sarah: Yes, if it’s not too much trouble of-course. It’s been a long day so far and the night is only going to get harder from here so if it’s all the same to you I’d like to face my troubles on a full stomach.

[Pause]

Nick: Right, a sandwich (he goes to leave) any particular flavour?
Sarah: I don’t care, just go will you.
Nick: Right. Back in a minute then.

[He leaves]

[Sarah checks that he has gone and then gets her phone out of her bag. She calls a number and paces the room as she talks.]

Sarah: Yeah hi, how are you…yeah I know, I’m there now…well things have taken an unexpected turn…relax, I’ve got an idea, just get over here as soon as you can…yes now…don’t worry about it, I’ll explain when you get here…

[She hangs up and puts her phone back in her bag. She then goes to the mirror and looks at herself, she breaths a sigh of disappitation. She re-arranges her hair, then re-arranges it back, adds make-up etc. In that time Nick appears at the door. Sarah doesn’t notice him and he watches her for a while.]

Nick: Cup of tea?

[Shocked, she spins round to see him.]

Sarah: Tea? Nice thought. Your old philosophy…
Nick:…you can face the world with a good cup of tea in your belly.
Sarah: Very English.
Nick: I’m going to miss you.
Sarah: Don’t Nick.

[He walks into the room, puts the sandwich he has brought on the bed and walks right up to her. He holds her by her arms, she tries to move away but he doesn’t let her.]

Sarah: Nick!
Nick: Your company, your pathetic jokes, your crass observational humour, your beautiful face, (pause) your smell. (He lets her go, but still pent up says) You make me feel comfortable and relaxed, like I’m at home. Like there’s no-one else I wanna be with and nowhere else that I want to be but here and now. (He realises how honest he’s been and retreats. Gets himself a drink and sits in the chair.)

[Pause]

Sarah: That’s love.
Nick: I know.

[Pause]

Sarah: There’s more to life than love.
Nick: So you keep saying.
Sarah: We’ve been through all this Nick. Circumstance is against us.
Nick: But you wouldn’t want to be with me even if Dave hadn’t come over and ordered me to stay away from you.
Sarah: What?
Nick: The other morning you said we shouldn’t see each other anymore before you even knew about Dave.
Sarah: Yes, that is true.
Nick: So this is the perfect situation for you. This is what you wanted all along. This gives you an excuse not to see me anymore.
Sarah: That’s not true, I didn’t want to stop seeing you completely I just wanted to…and I didn’t want it forced upon me either. If I was going to stop seeing you I wanted it to be my idea.
Nick: A likely story. You’ve got just what you wanted now.
Sarah: Not exactly Nick.
Nick: Well you’ve got rid of me.
Sarah: I still don’t have my freedom though do I. I have to keep on doing the job that I hate for the fear that my boss will murder one of the people that has meant the most to me. Can’t make something of myself can I? Can’t follow any of my dreams like you.
Nick: I’d swap that for being with you.
Sarah: Don’t be so bloody stupid. You’d really give up all your opportunities in life, gamble them on a relationship that wouldn’t even work?
Nick: I can’t help how I feel.

[Pause]

Sarah: Well that’s just bloody stupid.

[Pause]

Nick: Look Sarah, I’m sorry.
Sarah: What for?
Nick: For all of this. None of this is your fault. I know that you’re just trying to make your way in life like the rest of us, it’s just the path that you’ve chosen is that bit harder to handle. You don’t need me, another annoyance holding you back.
Sarah: We met at the wrong time.
Nick: I’ll always look favourably on our time together. Difficulties aside you’ve been one of the best things that happened to me…and I’ll always wish that it could’ve worked out better.

[Sarah smiles. She stands and beckons him to do the same. He does. They hug.]

Sarah: Circumstance.
Nick: Circumstance. [Pause] You’ll always be in my heart if not in my company.

[She breaks from the hug.]

Sarah: Nick. You know that I always loved you. Do you know that? No matter what happens now, I always loved you, okay?
Nick: You do…did?
Sarah: Yes, and remember that.
Nick: Okay okay, I will.

[They hug again.]

[And just as poetic justice dictates…there is a knock at the door.]

Nick: Sarah?
Sarah: Get the door Nick.
Nick: What if it’s Dave?
Sarah: It won’t be.
Nick: How do you know?
Sarah: Get the door.

[Nick exits and gets the door. Sarah picks up the sandwich that Nick brought her, sits on the bed and starts to eat it. Nick enters again with Laura.]

Nick: Sarah, this is Laura, she’s a…friend of mine.

[Sarah gives a wave.]

Laura: Hello Sarah.
Nick: Everything okay?
Laura: Yeah, I suppose. What happened here, who’s is all this money?
Nick: Looks like it’s mine. [Pause in which everyone looks uncomfortably at each other. Sarah eats her sandwich.] Sarah’s a friend from…back home, come up to visit. Thinking of going to college here…
Laura: Sarah and I know each other.
Nick: You do? How?
Laura: We’ve lived together for almost a year now.
Nick: Lived together? But…
Laura: I answered an advert in the paper for a spare room.
Nick: But…I’ve been to that house…I’ve never seen you there.
Laura: You haven’t been there since I’ve lived there.
Nick: Blimey, what a coincidence. Why didn’t you say when you first came in?
Laura: I know all about you and her too.
Nick: Really?
Laura: But I like you. A lot. I always have done. I don’t know why, you’re rude, insensitive, always drunk and not just a bit self obsessed. And you take everything far too seriously.
Nick: Thanks.
Laura: I told Sarah about this boy that I’d met in my seminar and slowly we worked out that we both knew you. She told me all about your…relationship and she promised me that she’d help get us together. She said that being with you was becoming destructive to her health (Nick looks at Sarah, she shrugs in an agreeing way). I’m not completely comfortable with all of this, as I imagine you’re not as well but I just need to know whether there’s a chance for you and me?

[Nick, realising it is his turn to speak looks bewildered and doesn’t know what to say. Sarah continues with her sandwich.]

Nick: Well…I don’t know, I mean…I…
Laura: This has probably all come as a bit of a shock, I understand that, but it seems that the time has come to act and so…well, here I am. Offering myself to you…if you want me.
Nick: Laura I…
Laura: You can’t help how you feel Nick.
Nick: I know.
Laura: This is probably not the best time but I’m not expecting the world, I think you need someone in your life. Someone to take care of you. Put you down when you’re being an idiot and help you when you need a shoulder…
Sarah: And I’m not that girl.

[Pause. Nick wanders the room. Laura perches on the one-seater. Eventually Nick finds the whisky and without offering any to the others has himself a drink.]

Nick: This is all very strange.
Laura: I’m sure it is.
Nick: Very strange indeed. You are aware that I am in love with Sarah aren’t you?
Laura: Well, with all due respect darling, if you’re so in love with her then why did you sleep with me last night?
Nick: Good point.
Sarah: (stands and walks slowly around the room as she speaks) I think you’re more in love with the idea of being in love. We always want what we can’t have Nick. Our relationship has never been the most straight forward has it? You’ve had to share me with a lot of other people and that has wound you up inside, made you want me more. If you had me, just me and you, then you’d probably find that you didn’t want me as much as you thought you did. The excitement would be gone and all that we’d struggled through together would be wasted. It really is best to leave it like this.
Nick: Maybe.
Sarah: Well say that if you like but you really have no choice here. I’m going now. I’ve got work to go and do.
Nick: Sarah!
Sarah: What?
Nick: I…I’ll miss you.
Sarah: Good. Think about me every now and again. That’s all I ask. (She kisses him on the cheek and smiles) And you (to Laura) you look after him for me won’t you.
Laura: I’ll do my best.
Sarah: See you round then.

[Nick turns away. Sarah looks around the room for the last time and then goes to leave.]

Sarah: What will I do with my Wednesday evenings from now on?

[She leaves.]

[Nick goes to the kitchen door to see her leave but then looks around again at Laura who sits politely with her hands in her lap. Eventually he comes back into the room and offers her his hand. She takes it and stands.]

Nick: Maybe we should give it a go.
Laura: Maybe.
Nick: I really don’t know what to think about all of this. Lets just spend some time together, see how we feel then.
Laura: Sounds good.

[Pause as they sit on the end of the bed.]

Nick: I wonder if I’ll ever see her again.
Laura: She sacrificed herself for you.
Nick: She did? I thought she just palmed me off on her best mate. Not that I…
Laura: She loves you very much.
Nick: Funny way of showing it.
Laura: People show love in different ways. She put your feelings and life before her own. Sacrificed her own happiness and chances to make sure you were happy, and with a shot at making something of yourself.
Nick: That’s love?
Laura: It certainly is. What has she got now? Nothing but a decade of waiting. Being dragged down through a slow process of attrition, worn away until she no longer knows who she is. And then maybe after that she may have a shot at trying to make something of herself. Maybe.
Nick: But why do that? She could’ve been a lot more selfish.
Laura: Could’ve been. But why make three people miserable when two could be happy.

[Nick looks at her. Then kisses her tenderly on the lips. She smiles.]

Nick: Look Laura I can’t promise you anything.
Laura: I’m not expecting you to.
Nick: We’ll just have to see how it goes I suppose.
Laura: That’s good enough for now.
Nick: I do like you though you know.
Laura: I know you do.
Nick: Good.

[Slight pause]

Laura: One question though.
Nick: Yeah?
Laura: Where did all this money come from?
Nick: The money? Oh. Funny story. I’ll tell you later. Surprised you didn’t ask earlier.
Laura: Well didn’t really seem like the most appropriate time.
Nick: I’d forgotten about it to be brutally honest. It’s just kinda become a feature of the room.
Laura: What you going to do with it all?
Nick: Hadn’t even begun to think about it. Don’t know yet. Give it to charity?
Laura: Yeah?
Nick: First and foremost though. It is absolutely imperative that you and I go and get very very drunk with this money. Then come back here and listen to the Smiths until we are far too drunk to stand up and we just fall over where we stand.
Laura: Sounds lovely.
Nick: You up for it?
Laura: (pause) Damn right.
Nick: Good. Lets go then. 

[They stand and Nick puts his jacket on.]

Laura: I thought you hated the Smiths?
Nick: Oh yeah right, well…things change don’t they. Sometimes what’s staring you right in the face can elude you forever. Well until someone else points it out that is.
Laura: Really? Well Socrates lets go and spend that money then shall we.
Nick: Good idea.

[He collects up some of the money and shoves it into his pocket.]

Laura: Where do you wanna go first?
Nick: Wonder if the students union is on happy hour still.
Laura: You really do know how to treat a lady don’t you.
Nick: No, not really. Perhaps you could teach me.
Laura: Maybe I will.

[They stop and look at each other.]

Nick: What do you think’s going to happen between us?
Laura: Lets not worry about it for now. Maybe nothing, maybe the world, but how will we ever know if we don’t try?
Nick: True. (He picks up a couple of glasses gives one to Laura) A toast, to not knowing, and to what may come.
Laura: To not knowing and to what may come.

[He leans forward, kisses her on the cheek and smiles. They drink.]

[Exeunt]

[The lights hang on the empty room for a moment and then lights down.]

[That song by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young plays, ‘Love the one you’re with’.]

THE END

N.b. This play was written between 11/03 and 05/05, purely through blood, sweat, rum, white wine, The Stills and Snow Patrol.