Top 10 NEVERS When Writing A Drama Script

Never...

1. Rub photos

‘John picks up the only photo of his departed wife and strokes it gently.’

No he doesn’t. He looks at it. Stroking photos covers them in greasy finger marks. 

2. Have your characters constantly state names

‘John, did you ever watch Dawson’s Creek?
   Which one was that, Jim?
   That show, John, where people were constantly addressing each other by name.
   Oh yeah, Jim, that! Jim, I tell you, if I had a penny, Jim…’

When two people are talking, they do NOT need to address each other by name. 
   And once you notice it on-screen, it sounds really jarring. 

  

3. Write impossible scene direction

John is sat on the bed, thinking about his wife and daughter. He misses them so much.

Visualise how your scene direction will be portrayed. If it involves a window into an actor’s brain, it should probably be changed.

4. Stare out of windows

John puts down the phone and steps slowly from his desk. He approaches the window and stares out. Rain patters down the glass. The audience falls asleep.

Why?
   Of all the ways of conveying soulful brooding or a great indecision, why do people race to the window? Still, it beats walking around rubbing photos.

5. Monologue

‘Keep it together, man. She’s just a girl, a girl with crazy hair and the hateful, fiery eyes of a killer. You don’t need her… you’re better than that…Wait… Who am I talking to? Why am I even talking at all? Hmm… Where did I put my keys?’
  
Monologues usually occur in empty store rooms, club toilets, cars… generally anywhere a character can be alone to audibly recap the story’s events or relay their tragic internal conflict to the audience. And it looks very unnatual.
   So unless your character has an emotional disorder or is a film noir detective – or you’re Shakespeare – avoid. 

6. Say ‘Well’

‘Well, well, well! John! How’s the wife?
   Well, she died.
   Well that’s too bad.
   Well, she had it coming.
   Well… how come? 
   Well, always talking stupid and that.
   Well what happened?
   Well, I shot her.’

‘Well’ is a superfluous word implying an airy vagueness that can precede almost any line of dialogue. But that doesn’t mean it should. Ever. 

7. Wax lyrical in scene directions

Jack, exhausted, breathes deep in and out, a deflated lead balloon. Jill walks over, a vision in the dwindling twilight, and caresses his hair with her soft, tender fingers. She leans forward and lightly presses her pursed lips against his own. The air is electric.  

Very nice. Unfortunately all you’re audience will see is:
Jack breathes deep. Jill approaches and touches his head. She kisses him.

Whereas any scriptwriting professional will read:
I should’ve written a novel.

Aim for the second one.

8. Direct

The camera swoops wildly around the ransacked apartment, displaying a half-full glass of beer, several discarded crisp wrappers and a broken TV, while making the audience feel nauseous. John enters and the camera flies up his nose and enters his head while he scratches himself. From his blurry point of view, we see the Mona Lisa affixed to the back wall. 

Imagination is essential, but remember your place – you’re the writer. Set the scene, and if the items viewing order is important, write them accordingly:

A ransacked apartment. A half-full glass of beer and several discarded crisp wrappers lie strewn around the broken TV. John enters, scratches himself, then looks at the Mona Lisa affixed to the far wall.

9. Crowbar-in exposition

‘Oh Danny, you’ve never been the same since mom died in that car accident six years ago when you were supposed to drive her to the hospital but couldn’t because of the drinking problem you’ve had since you were twenty, and fear of water that sends you into a gibbering wreck every time you look at a picture of a dinghy…’

Ouch. 
   Besides, even if it is significant that your protagonist is a water-fearing, long-alcoholic orphan, there are better ways to illustrate this than having another character mechanically tell them. 

10. Waste a single word
 
EXT. CAFÉ. NIGHT

Jack is sat at a table, idly drinking coffee. Jim approaches. 

Jim
Hey Jack.
  
Jack
Hey, Jim.
  
Jim
What’s cooking?
  
Jack
Not much. Just sat around having a pointless
conversation to get the scene started.

Jim  
What for? Aren’t people watching this? Aren’t
we supposed to be taking them on a rollercoaster
of emotional thrills and spills?
  
Jack
Yeah, I guess so.
 
Jim
Then let’s do it! 
   
As Jim rounds the table to sit down, an explosion rips the café apart; glass and rubble fly in all directions.

The smoke clears. Jim and Jack lie on the floor, covered in dust and rubble. They reach for their guns and burst into action.

-----
 
ALTENERNATIVELY:

EXT. CAFÉ. NIGHT

Jim and Jack are sat at a table drinking coffee.

An explosion rips the café apart; glass and rubble fly in all directions.

The smoke clears. Jim and Jack lie on the floor, covered in dust and rubble. They reach for their guns and burst into action.
 
-----

Begin every scene when the action begins NOT when the characters enter. Finish every scene in the same way.
   Characters greeting each other, saying goodbye or chatting about the weather wastes the time with which YOU are trying to entertain people through strong narrative and story development. 
   If nothing needs to be said, don’t say it.

Thanks for reading. Or quickly scrolling down to the end and reading this bit, at least. And just as a quick disclaimer: all the example text is my own.

I'd love to hear responses or ideas for anything for anything that should be on the list. Otherwise... all the best with your writing, guys!

Jon