This is a sketch i just wrote on my computer, i hope you like it.
We see a man sitting in his living room watching the telly then suddenly the doorbell rings,
So he gets up to answer it and at the door is a delivery man with a clip board.
DELIVERY MAN: Sign here please sir
MAN: (LOOKS CONFUSED) Erm... whatever for?
DELIVERY MAN: Just sign please!
MAN: Oh ok if you insist (MAN SIGNS)
AS THE MAN IS SIGNING THE DELIVERY MAN SETS FIRE TO A BAG ON HIS DOOR STEP AND RUNS OFF LAUGHING
MAN: You bastard!, come here!
THE MAN STAMPS ON THE BAG TO PUT IT OUT AND POO SPLATS EVERYWHERE
MAN: Bloody delivery men (WHILST RUBBING POO FROM HIS FACE).
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Written by Phil (6439 comments posted) 22nd November 2007 |
I hesitate to give advice on a comedy script as I've never written one. However, I don't think this is funny, a bit of a handicap when writing comedy. Silly, yes, I'm sure my youngest son would laugh. If you want to do slap stick with excrement - and I don't suppose there's anything wrong with that, there still needs to be a story. Have a look at the old black and whites. Funny, silly, but in the context of narrative.
Phil |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3186 comments posted) 23rd November 2007 |
I think I first saw this gag on the film "Stand by me" and it has featured in a few American sit-coms so I'm afraid it isn't original.
Do I smell cabbage?
Jane |
Written by woody44 (768 comments posted) 25th November 2007 |
I`m with Jane on this one..anyone for greens?
Roger |
Written by Brett (533 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
This joke (for want of a better word) is so old that I was expecting an ironic twist. Not funny, even the dialogue was devoid of life.
Sorry. |
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