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Poetry
What kind of person are you?
By punchy
25 November 2007
Do you enjoy, peeling a prawn
Do you  lounge in your bed or jump up at dawn
Do you turn down a party and hide in a hole
Do you wear skimpy clothes and dance round a pole
    what kind of person are you?
Do you tell a tall tale to make people laugh
Do you turn out the light when you're taking a bath
Do you cover your mouth, to hide all your teeth
Do you stand up for justice and point out a thief
    what kind of person are you?
Do you use a hanky or just pick your nose
Do you secretly peel off the skin on your toes
Do you talk to the mirror and sing with a brush
Do you smile at a stranger or do you just blush
     what kind of person are you?
Do you cry when told off or defend your domain
Do you strip when it's sunny and sing in the rain
Do you talk about friends when they've just been around
Do you laugh very loud when they fall on the ground
       what kind of person are you?
Look at yourself and read the above
Is your being a giver or taker of love
Can you better yourself and give others a chance
Can you let yourself go and learn how to dance
        for no one's more special than you!
             
no one's more special than you!

Reviews

Written by Phil (6828 comments posted) 25th November 2007
Not my kind of poem Punchy, but it has a certain something to it. Raised a smile here and there certainly. As it relies so heavily on the way it scans, you may want to go back over it and check. It does jump out of the pattern you've given it a couple of times. 
 
Not sure if the last 6 lines add or detract. Perhaps it's just me. They strike me as a little preachy. 
 
Phil
Phil
Written by punchy (504 comments posted) 25th November 2007
I guess it is a bit preachy and who am I to preach. I just wanted to write a poem about peeling prawns but I kind of lost my way and this just spewed out x

Written by Phil (6828 comments posted) 25th November 2007
I just wanted to write a poem about peeling prawns 
 
:grin

Written by rui (150 comments posted) 26th November 2007
Talking about prawns is making me hungry! Lovely big Indian ocean tiger prawns, mmm! 
 
From a basis of just counting syllables, the average for the verse seems to be 7 per line, but there are a couple of lines with 8 or 9, which seems to make it jump out of rhythm if read aloud. Apart from that, lovely poem :)
Rui
Written by punchy (504 comments posted) 26th November 2007
Thanks for comment I have altered 2 lines does it read better now? x

Written by rui (150 comments posted) 26th November 2007
Yes, the couple of lines I spotted first have blended in now. Just a couple left-over: 
 
"Do you talk about friends with they've just been around" Perhaps the "with" is a "when"? 
 
First line, perhaps "do you enjoy the feeling of peeling a prawn" to take out the pause? That is just my preference, but it's not my poem.
Well spotted
Written by punchy (504 comments posted) 26th November 2007
That'll teach me not to read through my own poetry. cheers hon :roll

Written by Josie (2823 comments posted) 28th August 2008
What kind of person Punchy? I've spent my day playing with my grandchildren and my daughter doesn't know who is the silliest of us all, but the grandchildren wouldn't have us any other way. So perhaps that's why I like children. And what about you? You used to write nice poems for children but we don't see you in this section any more? Have you changed?

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