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By punchy
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25 November 2007 |
The depth of my depth is deeper than deep
I'm deep in the depth of my deepest of sleeps
The depth of your deep is shallow not steep
So I dare you to dabble the depth of my deep
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Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 25th November 2007 | | Uhuh... Don't understand a thing about it, but the rhyme and rythm are nice. |
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 25th November 2007 | | yawn, now for bed |
Written by rui (150 comments posted) 25th November 2007 | shen du wo shen ao shi bi shen shen shen ke
I like deep sleep. I miss it. You've reminded me what it feels like. good rhyme and rhythm... not clear what you mean to say. As always, I could just be dense. |
Written by Matthiasrising (32 comments posted) 28th November 2007 | I like how you laced this with a playful tone. I completely derived a state a bliss from the rhyme and rhythm. And like rui, I find it reminding me of someone taking pride in wondrous sleep. I want some of that.
It also seems to convey some undertones of chemically inspired happiness. But that's just one thing I saw.
Simple. Good. | Thanks peops
Written by punchy (500 comments posted) 28th November 2007 | I really appreciate the reviews.
Although my poem appears to be about sleep that wasn't my intention, I am basically saying you're shallow with no depth and I'm deep so deep I have depth even when asleep. But keep to your interpetation it's far better than mine  . |
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