Great Writing - Home > Poetry > I've captured a heart
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1206 guests online and 7 members online
Poetry
I've captured a heart
By punchy
26 November 2007
I've captured a heart
I'm not letting go
It's hot to the touch
I'm feeling it grow

The nape of my neck
Is open for use
I lay myself bare
I've set myself loose

The hairs on my skin
Are standing quite tall
They long to be touched
They're waiting to fall

My blood like a tango
It strides round my heart
But inside I know
 I'm falling apart

This heart that I've captured
was not meant for me
But as I hold tight
It's helping me breath

Help me let go
And leave me my shell
For this heart that I hold
Will take me to hell

Reviews

Written by rui (150 comments posted) 26th November 2007
I keep coming back to this - I've read it a dozen times now, just to see whether I was being unusually soft first time.  
 
I'm not. The first four stanza described new love quite beautifully. The last two crushed it, and left me rather sad.  
 
How do you do that? It's very effective!

Written by punchy (493 comments posted) 26th November 2007
Sorry :cry x

Written by rui (150 comments posted) 26th November 2007
Don't be! I thought it was great! Just envious of your ability to manipulate emotions in text...
Thankyou
Written by punchy (493 comments posted) 26th November 2007
I can be very manipulating when I need to, and for us woman it's a skill we can master 8)

Written by punchy (493 comments posted) 26th November 2007
I meant women :roll

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 26th November 2007
Nice to see that women are becoming ever so ambitious.

Written by Brett (731 comments posted) 26th July 2008
Beautiful, Paula. The fourth stanza is great ; 'My blood like a tango' - that is wonderful. 
I have only just come across this, and read it several times - I think it brilliant. 
Cheers

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item