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Poetry
unruly sleep
By margarita
27 November 2007
I woke up in the middle of the night and I was terrified. No idea why.I couldn't go back to sleep so I watched mindless comedy on tv. I've just woken up after a nap and this came out!

An unreasonable wake up call
That left a lot to be desired.
A rotting taste in my mouth
Heart pounding then running too still.
I panicked.
The cold damp street grounded me
As if its blatant reality could somehow calm me.
I am still feeling the repercussions
Like the chilling echo of a terrified scream.
This is the lonesome time, where fear sneaks in so boldly.
If I could I'd sneak out through the shadows
Hide under the earth, deep within the forest.
Other breath and laughter catches me on edge,
The senses are swimming in my brain, one lane out of reach.
I try to grab them
But they're weightless in my brainy sea
They filter through my fingers
I lose consciousness as the water drags me in.


Reviews
Anxiety attack!
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 27th November 2007
I thought this described an anxiety attack brilliantly, the cold sweat, racing heart and the senses on high allert.The ' one lane out of reach' described that out of control feeling which can be very disturbing. The most annoying thing about sleep disturbance is the fact you suffer the consequences of a terrible nightmare without actually knowingly having one. 
Not keen on second line though I think it works without it , but hey what do I know :roll  
Anything good on the box? I Quite like mindless comedy! 
 
Paula ( a.k.a. poor Punchy)
liked this
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 27th November 2007
bit of a nightmare.

Written by wt (137 comments posted) 27th November 2007
why the punctuation? 
Thanks for the feedback
Written by margarita (30 comments posted) 27th November 2007
Hello there, thanks for all the feedback guys.  
Punchy I think you're right on the second line, it seemed to stick out for me too. I thought using a cliche might bring in a sense of familiarity to a very strange/unknown territory. But I reckon I'll review that bit....the tv was dull so I switched to Napoleon Dynamite and then Zoolander! 
 
WT- At the start I didn't think too much about the punctuation in this as it all came out quite quickly. I thought of it as listing symptoms....then I liked tp leave some parts quite isolated- the short "I panicked" as one sentence to reflect the simple core of last night's problems.  
 
Thanks very much again guys!

Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 27th November 2007
Ah Zoolander, fantastic film, one of my faves. 
p.s. love 'Brainy sea'.

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