SUPER COOPER -(TO THE TUNE OF SUPER TROOPER)

He was a Super Trooper
the late great Tommy Cooper
more than just a silly hat
(Just like that, just like that.)
Or a big gormles pratt
(Just like that, just like that.)
He's sorely missed and that's a fact.

SUPERMARKET SENSATIONS -(TO THE TUNE OF ALICE BLUE GOWN)

In her Anne Summers vibrating pants
She went looking for supermarket romance
It was going ok, she had got round half way
when suddenly she started thrashing, they say.

There was commotion in all of the aisles
Astonished shoppers burst into smiles.
What was causing her gasps and her rants
why her Anne Summers vibrating pants


WIND FARMS -(TO THE TUNE OF INCHWORM)

Wind Farms Wind Farms
Pleasuring the Anoraks
you and your Euro-Subsidy
You'll take your backers far.

Wind Farms Wind Farms
Massacring flying life
Strange that such absurdity
Can cause such tragic harm

First step remission
From planning permision
Turning beauty into eyesore

That sweet sensation
From rural isolation
SHATTERED

By the Satanic roar

From

Wind Farms Wind Farms
Pleasuring the Anoraks
You and your Euro-Subsidy
You'll take your backers far.

OOPS IVE ‘IT A GNOME-(TO THE TUNE OF YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE.)

I mow Brucie's lawn with me 'ead 'eld 'igh,
Cos I'm not afraid of the Gnomes.
At the end of the day there's a twenty note
and a 4-pack for me to take 'ome.

Mow on past the sink, mow on past the pram,
Though it's wheels are lost and gone.

Mow on , Mow on with a can in me 'and

and

Oops I've 'it a Gnome,

I've gone and 'it a Gnome

GNOME GARDEN-(TO THE TUNE OF ROSE GARDEN)

I beg your pardon,
I never meant to wreck
your Gnome Garden
I was dodging the clothes line
Pram, sink and settee
give me such a hard time

when you mow
you gotta mow
but then I tripped
and let go
oh oh oh no!

I beg your pardon,
I never meant to wreck
your Gnome Garden

HEY BRUCE-(TO THE TUNE OF HEY JUDE.)

Hey Bruce, mourning's no use,
Take a hurt Gnome and make him be-e-e-tter
The minute you stick back on his head
Repaint his hat red, it will get better

And anytime you feel a pain
hey Bruce refrain
Just stick his arm back on his shoulder.
And there's one thing you can do
Hey Bruce its true.
You could pretend he's a wounded soldier.

I'VE A HAT WITH A BELL-(TO THE TUNE OF BAT OUT OF HELL)

Got my motor running brm brm
driving round toy town brm brm
I'm in a hurry Brm Brm
I'm picking up Mrs Tubby Bear

my life is so exciting
chicks find my car inviting
so my coming you can tell
I've a hat with a bell

STEPHEN FOSTER MEDLEY

(W.S.Gilbert) TO THE TUNE OF POLLY WOLLY DOODLE
A wandering minstrel I
A thing of rags and patches ,
Of ballad songs and snatches, going
Polly Wolly Doodle All De Day.

Tennyson -TO THE TUNE OF DE CAMPTOWN RACES

On either side the river lie, doo da doo da,
Long fields of Barley and of rye,doo da doo da deh
That clothe the wold and meet the sky
And through the fields the road runs by
To many towered Camelot-doo da doo da deh.

William McGonnigal- THE TUNE OF SWANEE RIVER

Way down upon the bridged Tay River
Far Far Away
There's a bridge thats like a si'ver sliver
it's still there today.