Many of you, I`m sure, will have experienced this...
They have all gone. Thirty three years and we are finally on our own again.
Helen was the first one to go. Back in 1992 she went up to Huddersfield University and never came back. Well yes of course she did return occasionally, to bring her dirty washing loaded into several grotty bin bags and to catch up with all the news from home. After finishing Uni she moved down to Devon, found a fella after several false starts, and has now given us a lovely grandson and settled to a life of hectic domesticity on the Somerset/Devon border.
Andrew was next, three years ago. A quiet lad, after getting his degree in Chemistry from Trent University, he and his girlfriend took a year out touring New Zealand and Australia. I still break out in a sweat when I look at the video of him hurling himself off a flimsy platform high above a gut-wrenchingly deep canyon attached only to an oversized elastic band, or see his ashen, wind-blasted face as he prepares to throw himself several thousand feet from a light aircraft. On their return to England they managed to get a foot on the housing ladder and now live a mere twelve miles from us. Lads being lads we hear less from him now than when he was `down under`.
Amy, the `baby` of the family has just gone. Six months ago she achieved one of her ambitions and passed her driving test. With freedom now beckoning she and her boyfriend gave up their jobs in Mansfield and acquired new ones in Leicester. Last weekend Janet and I, with the help of Amy`s boyfriend and a battered Transit van, moved her not inconsiderable belongings to their new home on the outskirts of Leicester. Two days later I was stripping the yucky blue wallpaper off her bedroom walls.
So there you have it. Slammed doors, tantrums, raging hormones and lying awake in the small hours listening for the key turning in the front door, are all now distant memories. Doubtless there is much more I could tell you, but then they would probably never grace our doorstep again if I did. Suffice to say they have been wonderful kids and have brought us much pleasure, as well as the occasional heartache, over the years. Now we are left with silence, and a much underused washing machine, but we will still miss them... |
Written by Fledermaus (3487 comments posted) 2nd December 2007 | Aww... Yes, that's how it goes. See, the problem with washing machines in student houses is that they're always occupied. Heheh... Ooh, I get inspiration for a non-fiction piece from this!
Enjoyable read. | To Woody
Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 2nd December 2007 | | It can seem sometimes, Woody, that lots of doors close as you get older, but the secret is to start opening new ones. I also missed my daughter when she left home to get married, and after then she was never the same person again and was much more someone else's, but after 12 years, two grandchildren have appeared. There is no doubt who is important to them or who they enjoy being with. It is such a different relationship. We are not on top of each other all the time, so time together is really special, and all the time I now have has opened up a new door in my life. I have time to do things for others, even though I'm not paid - and I do love writing and meeting the children. Making the website has taken hours of work, but it's been worth it. |
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 2nd December 2007 | Thanks Fled, glad I`ve inspired someone!
Josie. Oh believe me Josie we have plenty of `open doors.` We have many friends and outside interests which we will pursue as avidly as we always have. Our children`s lives, like our own in a previous time, move on, and rightly so. We still see them all on a regular basis, about once a month in the case of our daughter in Devon ( we live in the East Midlands). Liberation comes in not having to think about mealtimes and having a far more flexible timetable when it comes to doing things. To sum up we miss them not being around, but equally we are enjoying, after thirty-odd years, having `our` time.
Roger |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 2nd December 2007 | I say this in the nicest possible way - but it must be oddly liberating as well as sad. Our lives seem to revolve around our children one way or another. Both mine are still here - and for some time longer too. When they are gone, my life will change in a big way.
Crikey, your 'doors' and Josie's 'thin places' have put me in a very reflective mood - but also given me a little inspiration to write - something sadly lacking at the moment.
A very smooth (and open) piece.
Phil
| HI Woody
Written by jean.day (2364 comments posted) 3rd December 2007 | I enjoyed this - and remember seeing that bungy jumping canyon in NZ - and am certainly glad my kids weren't jumping from it. (It might not have been the same one - but I wouldn't be surprised if it was.)
But I have to tell you, that your children's problems will still worry you, even when they are far from home.
Our youngest daughter - newly pregnant with her second baby, spent the last week in Japan - and we thought she was so foolish to go - considering how badly she suffered from morning sickness last time. But she was determined and went - and luckily survived, but she had some bad days there and the flight home was a nightmare.
Our son has just come out of hospital in America where he had to have stitches - due to falling down a flight of stairs after a seizure - and his insurance company wouldn't pay as it was a pre-existing problem. Guess who's paying.
Our oldest daughter is busy trying to remodel her house, and as a result of the complexity of it she and her family will be moving in with us for six weeks, starting in a few weeks. My prediction is that those six weeks will be more stressful than any period when she still lived with us 15 years ago.
But it is nice to have the house to yourselves again, I am sure. Thanks for sharing it with us. |
Written by rui (150 comments posted) 3rd December 2007 | | I enjoyed reading this, although I'm at the other end of the cycle now. Twenty years to go... | Thanks
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 3rd December 2007 | Thanks Phil,I know the feeling re inspiration. My trouble was I became wrapped up in researching my Family Tree to the detriment of my writing. After tracing my Family back to 1711 I hope I am now back on track.
Jean. Your tales of your children`s wows bring into sharp focus the fact that our children never really leave us! Thanks.
Rui. And I bet those twenty years fly by...Thanks. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3564 comments posted) 3rd December 2007 | Well, I expect just like Arnie They'll be back..... from time to time to give the washing machine and your wallet a bashing. It is the parent's lot, Woody, and I think you summed it up so well with warm sentiment but without senimentality. It was an excellent bit of writing, beatifully understated but the emotion was there.
Yes, you miss them and it is inevitable that you do but you have obviously bought up 3 independent kids ready to face the world. It is their lot to go and yours to miss them, twas ever thus. But with the sadness their must be pride at having done such a good job.
And now you've got your writing!!
Jane |
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