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By Bottleblondesurfer
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04 December 2007 |
I know it's all been done before and better but I couldn't resist having a go.
The news of a small explosion in a branch of Toys R us has caused fear and panic. A spokesman for the company has denied any culpability. After an examination Police reveal that the blast was caused by small soft toy packed with explosives. They admit that it is a worrying new precedent. It is believed to be the work of a suicide teddy bear and is in response to all the negative publicity that bears have suffered due to their involvement in the recent situation in Sudan.
"There have been a number of anti-bear incidents reported, following the episode and I suppose a bear backlash was inevitable", said a government spokesman.
The police have urged the public to keep calm and are keen to stress, this is in no way indicative of the vast majority of moderate, peace loving bears who only wish to be cuddled and taken to bed. The company spokesman added that if anyone was unhappy about their purchase that, under the circumstances, they could exchange the bear for a small plastic pig called Allah.
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Hi Jane
Written by jean.day (2323 comments posted) 3rd December 2007 | This is very funny, and unfortunately, possibly not all that unbelievable.
I think there are too many "incidents" - 3 in 2 sentences.
I laughed and cringed at the last sentence. |
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | Another excellent new slant on the story Jane. The thought of a bear strapped up with high explosive is quite hilarious. I suppose there will now be a place reserved for him/her on a much higher plain, or should that be plane? Loved the small plastic pig too..the smell of newly cooked bacon perhaps...
Roger |
Written by Livinginanattic (463 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | I can just imagine a series of grainy videos stating their demands being issued from a secret location in Ashdown Forest. Great stuff.
Ben |
Written by Phil (6828 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | A bear with a grudge. Paddington could make a comeback. No rucksack - but he did have a small brown case.
Good stuff.
Phil. |
Written by Josie (2823 comments posted) 5th December 2007 | | Following this incident there has been a slump in the sale of these much loved Christmas toys. which may, unfortunately, lead to a world bear market. Liked this Jane! |
Written by coosh (887 comments posted) 27th December 2007 | | Nice idea, and a good finish. Still waiting for all those Buddhist monks to turn nasty about Yogi... Nice to see Toys R Us having the crap blown out of it... I could just about stretch to a fire-damaged Barbie at the moment... if you get my drift. All the best for Christmas and New Year. |
Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 20th April 2008 | | ...and upon his ascent into Heaven, he was received by forty virginal Barbie Princesses. No Bratz dolls were in attendance, as most of those trollops were pregnant before their junior year in high school. |
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