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By ellipinnock
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04 December 2007 |
Went to see the Millais exhibition in Tate Britain...
She
Small-breasted,
steeped in attic-cold water.
Body language loud
enough to shatter ice-
cracked porcelain.
He
Tomb deaf.
Angler fish eyes groping
smudged contours.
Filling the gloom with flowers
as ripples stretch
and bubbles drown.
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Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | | Ah. A long time since I read an Elli Pinnock poem, yet it has a clearly distinguishing charm. Always a bit mysterious and gentle, but without a single unneccesary word. Very nice! | Hello Elli
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | | Nice to see one of your poems again. May I ask you what "attic" cold water is. Is it anything like Arctic cold water? We don't have any water in our attic. I have to agree with what Fledermaus said too. |
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | | Elli - to come back to the painting, again: I thought that the model, Elizabeth Siddall, died as a result of being in the cold water, but I have read that she didn't for she was just very ill. She, in fact, married one of Millai's fello pre-Raphaelites didn't she? Still, I bet she never volunteered to model in cold water ever again. A lesson for us all, especially you. | Hi Josie
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | That's what struck me. Apart from the fact that I absolutely adore the painting. The woman must have been stark raving loony to model that! I just had this image of a woman in a bath tub full of cold water in an attic (hence attic cold water - not sure I've ever been in a warm attic!) being painted. Whilst that isn't the way it happened I thought I'd just run with it anyway...
Thanks both for the comments,
Elli |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | Had to do a little research to appreciate this one Elli.
Strong piece. Something about the second verse that makes it stronger. Can't put my finger on what.
Phil. | HI Elli
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 4th December 2007 | Very lovely poem - and very powerful. One can picture the piece, just from reading those few words.
Nice to see you back writing again. I always get excited when I find something you have written. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 5th December 2007 | Hi, nice to see one of yours. As Fledermaus said you have been very sparing, making each word work. They feel like separate pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that together make up the picture. I want to say like a photo-fit poem but that might sound derogatory and I don't want that as I thought it was such a vivid and perceptive description. I think the approach works because one is always strugging to get across visual work in words. The temptation is to go overboard but in keeping it restrained you allow the imge to shine.
Nice work
jane |
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