In this piece of fiction I chose the Coca-Cola Company simply because of its close ties to the globally recognised image of Santa Claus. This work is not intended to imply that the Coca-Cola company would ever stoop so low.
I hope that this work is also the perfect antidote to the 'itchy teeth' that my short story 'Last Christmas' inflicted on Jane (BBS). 
There Goes Santa Claus
In an historic ruling, The European Court Of Human Rights today banned all images and references to Santa Claus, aka ‘Father Christmas‘.
Effective immediately, it will now be an offence to mention Santa or to promote goods or services using his image. The punishment for breaking this ruling carries a maximum sentence of 3 years imprisonment and a £50,000 fine.
Rejoicing in their victory, pressure group ‘Total War Against Tyranny' released the following statement:
‘For too long, the children of the poor and disadvantaged have been punished by society's insistence on promoting consumerism. When your child wakes on future Christmas mornings, no longer will he or she wonder why their friends received better gifts from Santa Claus. No longer will your child wonder why, despite being of exemplary behaviour since the previous Christmas, Santa decided to ignore their pleas for the latest Games Console or Personal Media Player/Communication device, delivering instead a dodgy cardigan and the latest 'Now That's What I Call Music' CD. Today, parents everywhere will no longer have to invent excuses for Santa's meanness. They will no longer have to scare their impressionable children with tales of a large, bearded man who knows whether they have been naughty or nice, and can gain access to their home regardless of the fact there may be no chimney available. No more will the poor and disadvantaged have to buy extra milk, biscuits and carrots for Santa and his reindeer. We see this as a victory for common sense, and one more step towards a fair and equal society. Today, the children of the world were set free!'
When asked for a response to the claim that Christmas could now recapture it's religious significance, a Roman Catholic priest - who wished to remain anonymous - said, ‘Now, that WOULD be a f*****g miracle!'
In a move a mere two hours ahead of today's historic ruling, The Coca-Cola Company registered their character ‘Father Cokemas' and his image as trademarks. Reacting to claims of ‘corporate greed gone mad', a spokesman for the Coca-Cola Company laughed off the suggestions, stating ‘Our company was unaware of any case being made against Santa Claus - or ‘Father Christmas' - and instead, chose to recognise the great part we had to play in bringing to life the very image of the festive season. We are, understandably, shocked and dismayed at the Court ruling but we are not above the law. As a company, we will obey and support this new ruling. Merry Cokemas!'
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There goes Santa
Written by TheWackyWordsmith (12 comments posted) 5th December 2007 | Hello there!
I believe your "fiction" is appreoaching reality a little faster than we may feel comfortable about believing.
Consider the number of schools that have banned the traditional "Nativity" school play because of a politically motivated, myopic, PC eagerness to be seen as "correct" -it's all bollocks!
The world is, indeed, slowly going mad.
I actually really liked the story and more power to your pen.
Regardz,
Brice. |
Written by Phil (6387 comments posted) 5th December 2007 | Yep, good piece - not laugh out loud funny, but amusing and well put.
TWW - how many schools have banned the nativity? I think you'll find it's less than The Daily Mail suggests.
I had to attend a joint schools carol service in the area I work this week. Six schools: two faith schools and four secular. All celebrated a 'Christian' Christmas.
Phil |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 6th December 2007 | A few chuckles here. Swearing priests are always good for a laugh. Cokemas sounds more like an orgy of drugs than anything to do with soft drinks. Not sure if that was your intention but it made it all the funnier.
However I think there is scope for condensing this piece, which would up the concentration of gags without losing any of the meaning.
Cheers,
Ben
| Many Thanks.
Written by jimbo (83 comments posted) 7th December 2007 | Thanks for the kind comments. They are much appreciated.
I'd like to point out that I didn't intend for this to be a humorous piece, so I have failed to get that across...big style!
Having been an unemployed parent, I know Christmas is - by far - the most stressful time of the year. It is easy enough for the poor parents of this fine country to be in debt from one Christmas to the next, simply paying for gifts for their children.
Also, I think the reply given by the Roman Catholic priest would be exactly what every priest would be thinking, given the circumstances. Of course, it wouldn't be said aloud; instead the reply would be optimistic and couched in phrases the faithful would find most reassuring.
Finally, I wouldn't put it past some huge corporation to find a way to monopolise the festive period, having it forever associated with their corporation.
So, I think TWW was the only person who seemed to 'get' it. Thanks, Brice.
It seems I have big problems communicating ideas. Must try harder! |
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 7th December 2007 | | I might be one Christian who really thinks that Christmas should not be part of the consumerism of today. I think we should do things in the same way as they do in Holland. 6th December - St Nicholas (Santa Claus) and the presents - and 25 December as Christmas Day with Christ centred exactly in the middle, who didn't advocate "I want, I want, I want" - but encouraged us to show love to other people, not just thinking about what we want, whether it be presents, too much alcohol, too much overeating when others are starving etc. It is a shame that we have Christ's name in the centre of a time of greed in every direction. He would be surprised to say the least, and disappointed. Enough said! |
Written by woody44 (760 comments posted) 9th December 2007 | Nice idea Jimbo. What would replace it do you think? World giving day perhaps, hosted on Tele by Wogan. Of course the modern world has spawned runaway consumerism and it would be very difficult now to get off the speeding carousel. Loved the` Total War Against Tyranny` by the way.
Roger
PS Just taken our grandson to see Santa- He arrived in a helicopter sponsored by a breakfast cereal company! - |
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