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Poetry
Sol
By Matthiasrising
05 December 2007
Remember Manfred Mann. "Momma always told me..."

I never really listened when they said not to look.

That was the day I staked my love in rebellion.

Our eyes met, first through my fingers, peeking,

My innocence bathed in its consuming stare,

Then slowly I embraced the pain of looking directly,

Until I couldn’t see clearly without its gaze.

 

Super nova, cleanse me slowly;

I want to be like your red giant.

Path in time forsaken for this

Gentle enlightening bliss.

 

Piercing through my skull and digging to the center,

Awakening beauty I had not conceived of prior:

First a glow, then a beacon.

This vibrance surpasses reason,

Like a holy secret,

Sweeping over me.

Closing two to open three,

Blazing through my shields, thin:

Red like no matte could show,

Brighter than the blood within.

 

Super nova, cleanse me slowly;

I want to be like your red giant.

Path in time forsaken for this

Gentle enlightening bliss.

I want to be your red giant.

Make me like the red.

Reviews

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 6th December 2007
I think you need to choose one or two metaphors and stick to them, because this verges on the nonsensical in places. Fair enough if you are writing for yourself alone, but if you wish to catch your audience then you need to throw them a bone in terms of clarity.

Written by Matthiasrising (32 comments posted) 6th December 2007
It's about looking into the sun. 
The whole "gazing into the eyes" part is from MM's Blinded by the light. 
If you close your eyes while staring at the sun, all you see is a brilliant red color through your eyelids. 
Try it. Read deeper into this.

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