A Sestina.
History of Mitching in the 1970s*
Slick as a pair of fish we sidled out;
Away from Latin and its fiendish rules,
From Brother John larruping with his cane
Until garbled verbs and declining nouns, trapped
Like frantic animals, tumbled from us
So very wrong we hoped that he would cry.
Away from jotters, blotters and the cry
Of classmates acting up and acting out
Last night’s TV. Away. The two of us.
No Mexican Hats, Chinese burns or rules
Or rulers. No day, this, for getting trapped
In chalky prison, caged by walls of cane.
Tomorrow - la deluge. Pitiless cane,
Merciless cleric, our dutiful cry.
For now we imagine ourselves un-trapped,
Abroad in an un-mastered world. Out. Out,
Determinedly composing our own rules;
Devised, implemented, controlled by us.
No clue where green-spined loaning would lead us,
Too soon, too gauche, too young for raising Cain,
Yet bucks enough to need to break their rules.
Berries shone and amidst the Autumn cry
Of scolding crows we were bound to find out
That history’s hinterland held us trapped.
Not flailing, as when fish or fox is trapped
Whose wit and wile and instinct outdoes us;
Feigns death or chews a paw in getting out,
Or croppy rebels caching pratie cain**
As landlords razed hovels in hue and cry
And governments conspired with martial rules.
Ours were murder days of mural-writ rules.
Auld enemies, Prod and Taig freshly trapped,
Wrapped in bone-hatred and the cuckold cry
Of generations. It's 'Them' versus 'Us',
Neighbour on neighbour, a new land of Cain,
'No Surrender' 'Up the Provos' 'Brits Out'.
Freedom’s but a cry against other's rules,
A painful finding out that we’re all trapped
And that, poor us, each morning brings the cane.
(*Mitching - bunking off school)
(**cain – a form of payment in kind, resisted by farmer-tenants whose
minute acreage barely provided enough for them to subsist, let alone
pay absentee landlords a share. Praties are potatoes.)
|
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 7th December 2007 |
Can't comment on the poetry as such as I'm not even 100% sure what a sestina is. It flowed well and drew me in as a narrative. Had a touch (and this may not be the most sensible of comments) of 'Stand by Me' about it. Liked it. Phil |
Written by Steve_K (54 comments posted) 7th December 2007 |
| Really vivid and stunning imagery ie. "trapped like frantic animals", "green-spined loathing" and "chews a paw in getting out". Really brilliant poem. Excellent stuff |
I too.... Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 8th December 2007 |
I'm guessing but I think you may have had a taste of The Christian Brothers. As also did I until my father rescued me from them and sent me to school in England where, he believed, they had a more enightened attitude to corporal punishment. The Da disapproved of corporal punishment. Unless, of course he was administering it. I got sent to a Salesian school where incredibly CORPORAL PUNISHMENT WAS BANNED!!! I couldn't believe it. But it was expressly forbidden by the rule of Don Bosco to lay a hand on child. This was in 1960. How unbelievably humane! As for the Christian Brothers I have often thought when I meet up with Edmund Rice in the next life, I shall leave him in no doubt that I found in his Christian Brothers no Christianity and and emphatically no brotherhood and that they ran the risk of being found wanting under the Trades Description Act. As for the poem I enjoyed it. I know praties and cain; but I have never met mitching. Well done. You have a certain skill with language which enpowers you never to be seduced by the words you use. That's a natural skill and not something you learn. Always master of them, your servants. Slan! |
Deja Vu? Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 8th December 2007 |
I'm sure I have read this before. I do remember that first verse. Perhaps you changed the rest of it but I don't think so. It was a very evocative and beautifully expressed piece of writing which is probably why I remember it. Is it the same one or an amended version,anyway I liked it Jane |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 8th December 2007 |
Thank you Phil. I think that each reader brings fresh perspective to each other's work and there may well be a 'Stand by Me' element within this. As for Sestina. It's a form I find useful for narrative poetry as it allows for some expansion of theme. I appreciate the read and your comments have given me something to think about. hm |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 8th December 2007 |
Hi Steve K and pleased to meet you. Glad you enjoyed the imagery, as I say above this form gives some leeway for development of ideas. Will keep a look out for some of yours. hm |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 8th December 2007 |
You're right about the schooling, Gerard. De la Salle brothers were my torturers. They seemed to have absolutely no imagination when it came to teaching; drum it in and if it didn't stay drummed then drum the boy by stick, kick, belt, sarcasm, shame or snide humiliation. I had them at primary school and then into secondary. One or two of them were particularly atrocious and have left me with lingering resentment of what they got away with. Thanks for the kind words on the poem. Mitching (playing truant) became such an adventure that I was 'asked to leave' the local Grammar as I spent more time off campus than on. Seems that you have laid the ghost of your early experiences with the Christian brothers and writing some of this stuff is doing the same for me. hm
|
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 8th December 2007 |
Hi Jane. and yes, this was posted before. I re-read it recently and decided to make some changes - the final verses have been substantially altered to incorporate more of the 'history' of the title. Glad that you took time to read and that you liked it. hm |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 8th December 2007 |
I was right, then. I thought I'd had a premature senior moment. I don't often remember poems so you can feel very honoured that I remembered it first time round. It was a very vivid and memorable piece Jane |
Written by fellpony (1580 comments posted) 10th December 2007 |
I thought I was having a senior moment or at least deja-vu, when I remembered the opening passages. I liked the puns of "Cain", "cain", and "cane" and how you'd worked them in. I think this is not only an improvement on the first draft but a highly skilled piece of writing about several things that touched you deeply. |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 10th December 2007 |
Indeed I do feel honoured that you remembered this from before, Jane. I apologise for any panic caused in the 'senior moment' department. Cheers. FP. I extend the same apology to you. I am pleased that you noted the amendments in this, and that you think they have improved the piece. And, yes, some of the 'history' was difficult to experience but then haven't we all a story to tell. hm |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.