A chance remark from a friend (First Line, First Verse) led to this.
I don't often trouble the poetry boards, but this sprang unbidden and fully formed from absolutely NOWHERE,
It came pre-packed in a melody (which I haven't written down yet).
Imagine a "big ballad" number in the style of a Rat Pack singer (Sinatra-Martin-Davies, for those who don't know!) and you're pretty close .....
The melody to verses 1,2 and 4 are the same. Verse 3 has a different melody.
Verse 3 is 'indented' because I couldn't think of another way of showing it follows the
traditional "ballad" A-A-B-A pattern ..........
I only know about love
From the stories that friends tell me of
How two hearts can entwine
And dance together through time
As the moon and stars sparkle above
I only knew of romance
From the moment we met – just one glance
Simply captured my heart
And I knew from the start
I'd be gladly besotted, entranced
Now
you say, after all these years have flown
You
need time and space: apart we've grown
How
can you mean what you say?
How
can you leave me this way?
I
need you here: my love's sincere – how can I atone?
I won't know love any more
If you walk out of that door
You're free to go
Leaving me on my own
But my heart will always be yours.
(
Molto rall. on last line)|
Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 10th December 2007 |
| So a ballad has the same rhyme scheme as a limerick? Never knew that. You did cheat a little with the rhyme, but it's nice someone actually thought of what scheme to apply. |
HI Paul
Written by jean.day (2190 comments posted) 11th December 2007 |
| Christmas time you usually give us a Christmas song or lullabye. I can't sing your poem without some help in the sort of tune it might have. As a poem some of the scanning seems awkward - but the melody might make all the difference. |
Hi, jean!
Written by Bagheera (679 comments posted) 11th December 2007 |
Have been trying for over haf an hour to get any of my software to allow me to insert musical notation, but no joy .... GW obviously doesn't recognise certain symbols! 
Four beats in a bar:
First line rhythm - quaver, quaver-tied-to-crotchet, crotchet, crotchet, 2 (tied) quavers, dotted minim [8 beats,2 bars]
Imagine Dean Martin with a cocktail glass in his hand ......  |
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 11th December 2007 |
| Bagheera - Firstly, I don't know what constitutes a ballad, but I thought it was a song, often with a refrain. Look at my ballad, now in the children's section, and tell me if it is a true ballad. Secondly, I liked your ballad a lot, but if you could find the music on the internet and give us the link, we could sing it to the music. I often have a melody in mind when I write, and sometimes it shines through and is obvious. Thirdly: I think this is a very sad song because how sad to have given your life and love to someone who then leaves you in your old age. You can see from my poem above, I like dogs, and for good reason I think. They don't let you down - only humans do that. Lovely., |
Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 11th December 2007 |
I'd love to hear this. I assume from you saying you were going to write the music down that you play some kind of instrument. How about recording it as an MP3 and posting it somewhere with a link on here? Could start a whole new craze. I love swing - but it doesn't really come across in print. Nothing wrong with the words, just the magic that swing dusts anything with isn't evident in written form. Do you sing?
Phil. |
Thanks, Phil and Josie
Written by Bagheera (679 comments posted) 11th December 2007 |
Phil, yes to instruments [anything with strings on and most brass) and to the voice bit .... but a bit of a dinosaur when you start talking about MP3s (for a long time I thought this referred to a working party of Members of Parliament: one who can read, one who can write, and one who can tell the time! )
Josie, ref dogs ..... you know, of course, that dogs have OWNERS whereas CATS have staff ....  |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3133 comments posted) 11th December 2007 |
I think Phil has identified the problem: song lyrics need to be sung. Song lyrics aren't poetry,they belong with the music, and with very few execptions seem a bit lost on their own. I could imagine this being sung and I'm sure would come alive when it was. It definitely had that old time swing feel about. I'm a big fan of Tony Bennet and I'm sure he do a good job with it
Jane |
Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
I would also like to hear this as what it is intended to be; a song.
~Merioneth |
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