Poetry
Illusions
By amethyst
25 September 2005
By Illusions you live
By Illusions you'll die
By Illusions you see what others
Cannot perceive to know is right
Illusions of a better place after life has left you
It would be a pleasure to see
The look on your face when you see reality
All your Illusions shot down in flames
And you wishing you played fair in all lifes games
 
For no one has the right
To tell how to live
To take all they can
And never learn to give
Do you sleep at night when you put a gun in the hand
Of a boy too young to be a man
Or read a book without trying to understand
The truth of the words you twist
To suit your own desire
Heaven doesn't wait for you
But hell does with its roaring fire!

Reviews

Written by Missinginaction ( comments posted) 9th October 2005
Again this piece is riddled with cliches. Can you think of more original ways of saying things? One of the attractions of good poetry is the richness of words in combination. Next time you write, stop and think if you can say things differently rather than using well-worn vocabulary. I also think you could either rhyme or not, but to do both and switch at no particular point seems unjustified. 
 
- Missing

Written by B.D. (82 comments posted) 31st May 2006
The part about the book doesn't seem to fit...

Written by JanGreen (14 comments posted) 11th February 2009
I agree with the advice about not using cliches - especially the 'hell's roaring fire' image. A poem needs to be a finely-made container for jewels, formed of the most precise language and saying something NEW. It's also important not to miss out apostrophes, as in 'lifes'.

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