How can I express the way I feel 
When the only thing I feel is pain, emptiness, and sadness 
Not knowing what the future holds 
Or if I'll even have one

I'm not sure how long I'll live 
No one does
But the way I feel makes me hope not long
I don't want to live like this
I can't stand feeling this way

I've tried to feel happy
Even pretended I've felt it
Just so others wouldn't worry
I don't want them to

I see the worried expressions that people give
When they see the way I act or the way I feel
I don't want them to see this
That's why I pretend I'm alright even if I'm not
I won't let them see
They don't need to
 
I see people I love and care for being hurt
It tares my heart into pieces
I can't deal with them being hurt
It just adds on to the pain I feel

I've seen people take their own lives over the same thing
They can't take it so they end it
I've had these thoughts in my mind
To just end my life

I could never go through with it
I would end up hurting people
The people I care about
It would be a selfish thing to do
And I can't help but think about how they would feel
They might even start feeling the way I do now
And I can't deal with that
That I would be the cause of someone else's suffering

I've seen families break apart because of that
I've seen friends cry and feel horrible because of it
That's not what I want to happen
Even though I hate the way I feel
I will keep living this lie
And pretend to be happy
Happy with myself and my life

Some people might catch on
But it doesn't really matter
Because there really isn't anything anyone can do
So I'm going to just go on with my life the way it is
And pretend everything is alright