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Poetry
I, Poem
By Talisker
20 December 2007

Hello, I am Poem.


I had no existence but a moment ago,
yet here am I, demanding attention,
challenging preconceptions,
utilising your sight and intellect.


I harbour no doubts regarding my value,
such trifles can be left to my creator.
Your role, dear reader, is unambiguous,
to continue reading, or to stop.


However, I doubt you have the courage
to risk missing what may be significant,
that which may enrich, amuse or shock.
I have you now, too far gone, ensnared.


The firing of a few neurons, a spark
shoots down the spinal column
and dainty fingers tap me out.
When out, I cannot be put back.


I have life, though not organically.
There are those who care for me,
lend me a permanence beyond
that of mere flesh and bone.


To have these secret moments, you and I,
beyond the ken of my creator, is precious.
I relish your detachment, your logic.
The significant other is too involved.


So that is that. Less than two minutes,
a hundred and ninety trivial words.
Not set in stone, but set in time and space.
We are consummated.


Oli 20/12/07

Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3477 comments posted) 20th December 2007
Is this incredibly smart or a complete waste of time? ;) Very enjoyable. What do you call this? Meta-poetry? Recursive poetry? self reflecting poetry? Liked it. Good to see you're back.

Written by Carrie (16 comments posted) 20th December 2007
Intereseting concept and engaging. I couldn't toss it out....had to find out what the rest had in store for me. I liked it.

Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 20th December 2007
Excellent. Has the bonus of good writing with a witty and well thought out message. Although this - 'However, I doubt you have the courage 
to risk what may be significant' is true only insofar as engagement. There are many, my own among them, which fail to carry the reader beyond one or maybe two stanzas before boredom overwhelms and the brain realises that life to too short to continue with what patently will not get any better. 
This started well, got better and has much to admire. 
 
hm

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3557 comments posted) 20th December 2007
We've had i-pods, i-phones and now an i-poem. I suppose it had to happen. Who am I to stand in the way of progress? 
Not a fan of writing about writing but I liked the last verse- Did it really take you two minutes to write? I'm impressed. 
Best wishes 
jane 

Written by fellpony (1702 comments posted) 21st December 2007
interesting reflection on the relationship between poem-and-reader, as opposed (too often) to poem-and-writer, and a worthwhile addition to the collection Oli!  
 
Jane - I suspect Oli means that the poem needs only two minutes of the reader's time. It looks too polished to have been written in only two minutes ... of course that's only a guess. Oli is SO talented that anything is possible :grin :grin :grin

Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 21st December 2007
Dear Sue! 
 
Do not mock the afflicted! It is especially unkind at this time of year! 
 
You are right though, I did mean two minutes for the reader. The writer took about thirty put this half-baked idea together. 
 
Thank you all for the helpful comments.  
 
Have a very merry yuletide & a fabulous 2008. 
 
Oli :)
Doh!!
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3557 comments posted) 21st December 2007
Yes, Sue, that does make more sense,doesn't it.But I'm never too sure with poetry.I heard that The Waste Land only took Eliot about 20 minutes, and that was only because he stopped for tea and a custard cream. 
I shall try harder not to parade my ignorance of poetry in the new year. 
Acutally reading it again I think I like the first verse, it's quite clever 
Best Wishes 
Jane
Hi Oli
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 22nd December 2007
good to see you back mate 
and 
in such excellent form. 
Bernie
OLI
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 24th December 2007
I also am very glad to see you back again. Have been away so only just logged on after several days. I see you have another one further down the list. 
 
We have all missed your cryptic comments, and your talent. I agree with Sue, your talent shines out.  
 
Have a merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year, or should I say Hogmanay?

Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 7th January 2008
I dea - conceived, nurtured, born and very much al i ve and kicking Oli. A brilliant i dea for your poem which I I I I enjoyed reading. I also enjoyed reading the following reviews. Great!

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