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By Snodlander
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20 December 2007 |
Every day at sunrise there’s an old man that I see.
Morning eyes scarce open, stares the old man hard at me.
Does he look in envy at my youthful, boyish face?
Skin still taut, no wrinkles that the passing years have traced.
Does he stare in anger at the years through which he aged?
Every month a victory for the side ‘gainst which he waged?
Every week a grey hair, every day, a day that’s spent?
Wondering what happened, where the precious hours went?
Does he mourn my vigour, knowing one day it will go?
Grieving for the passion that one day will cease to flow?
Was he once my equal, does he think I look like him?
Was his spreading waistline once like mine, so flat and trim?
Every day at sunrise there’s an old man that I see.
Aged body failing, yet reminding me of me.
Stretching out my fingers, keep the fearful sight at bay.
Turn the mirror over and the old man goes away.
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Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 20th December 2007 | | It's very silly people who only see "age". I have known some of my students who are old inside in their 20s, and other people of 80 who are "young". It's the personality that makes the difference. I like children and dogs (strange combination) - but dogs will smile at me and wag their tails - because they sense that you like them. Children will look up and smile too, and smile at your face. They are not weighing up your age. So don't do it yourself. You are as young as you feel inside. On the subject of your poem, it was very well done, with an excellent rhyme and rhythm and the subject was excellent affecting us all. | Written by Carrie (16 comments posted) 20th December 2007 | | I loved it. Excellent IMO. Very touching subject matter and it all fit together in a nice package. | The Old Man Written by embro (126 comments posted) 21st December 2007 | Yes, I liked your creation, it fits together well and trips off the tongue nicely. I think you hit a good theme that people can identify with, as many people see themselves as they were 10 0r 20 years ago ! regards embro | Written by EmilyKevil (3 comments posted) 21st December 2007 | | I really enjoyed this poem. Great theme and I love the way it flows. | Written by blogbrush (33 comments posted) 22nd December 2007 | | The best point about this poem, and there are many, is how good it feels to read out loud, and how the pace of it captures the kind of indignance one can feel towards things that can't be helped: time, age, losing things. Excellent. | Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 22nd December 2007 | yes a good write, enjoyed the read. Bernie |
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