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Poetry


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Divergence

By Steve_K

21 December 2007

Seven Years have past
Since we first talked
In that room
In that place

Just you and me
Coincidentally
Speaking of weather
And such

I remember distinctly
Complimenting your taste of bag
Pink with multicoloured hearts
Layers of hearts, starfish like

And seven years of friendship
Have evaporated
And left behind as salt
One night of ardour

Things from now cannot be the same
Looking up to the celestial above
The night sky beckons me
To move, shift, stir, love

Reviews

Written by blogbrush (33 comments posted) 22nd December 2007

Enjoyed the simplicity of this piece, I think the last verse in particular is effective. It would actually go with my own short story (plug) 'Unrequited' quite well, similar theme. Only one thing:

'Laters of hearts, starfish like'

Is that to say the hearts resemble starfish, or is it a typo? Quite an odd piece of imageery, is all.

In my own telling of this story (plugplug) I focused on the 'night of ardour' explicity: it's interesting to read your different take on what appears to be a similar experince to my own.

Cheers,

Sam

Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 22nd December 2007

a nice write, enjoyed the read.
Bernie

Written by Carrie (16 comments posted) 22nd December 2007

It's interesting how you expressed (what I perceived anyway) a feeling of resignation. I don't feel a sense of heart break and I don't feel a sense of total apathy either. There's something riding right in between the two...fond memories, a little meloncholy but a matter-of-fact sense of resignation or acceptance, a rather difficult quality to describe, I would think. Of course, if you only had one night of ardour, what else could there be? LOL.

I liked it. It was reflective and descriptive. I don't however get a "musical" feeling from this poem. Ie: the way the words flow or fit. But perhaps that is not meant to be in this one.

Over all, I liked it.

Written by Steve_K (55 comments posted) 22nd December 2007

Well "blogrush", when I say `layers of hearts, starfish like` what I'm trying to put across is that as a starfish loses a limb and can grow another...that I may do the same with my heart if nothing works out...cheesy I know! Thanks a lot for the comment though

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