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By EmilyKevil
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22 December 2007 |
Stay above me, gleaming star,
Because as long as you’re alive,
The fire in me will stay a little while
It’s late in the night, the hard ground is cold, and I’m alone
I’ve got no one to go to, nowhere to run to
Shine on, dying star
It’s not quite morning yet
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Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 22nd December 2007 | | I liked the first three lines but it didn't go anywhere for me after that. Lost its rhythm, perhaps? | Shine on, Dying Star
Written by embro (126 comments posted) 23rd December 2007 | The poem seems to offer hope and optimism and I like those sentiments.
I am not sure about some of your puncuation, I struggled a bit and had to read it a few times to get the flow, otherwise a nice read.
regards
embro
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