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Poetry
Elemental
By hutmaster
23 December 2007
Tabernacled in his night time
abode, the old man recites some
poetry he learned by heart when
he’d yet to find a taste for rum,
and lived amongst those sober men
who’d set aside their call for rhyme.

Word-perfect, though a little slurred,
lines learned for the sake of learning
fill the shack in a rum-bass tone.
Faint falls the light of peace returning.
Solitary, but not alone,
he syllables night - word on word.

Reviews
Hi HM
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 23rd December 2007
Liked this rather sad write, a good read. 
Bernie

Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 23rd December 2007
A beautiful, poignant poem. The more I read it, the more it hurts.

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 23rd December 2007
Liked this very much. Like Jill, further reading reveals more. The rhythms seemed a little hit and miss. The first four lines, although chopped up into eights like the rest, seemed to lack any kind of pulse. The rhythm came quite strongly after that. It might not matter, or it could be the way I'm reading it. 
 
Phil.

Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 23rd December 2007
Hi Bernie, and sorry that this reads so sad at this time of year. Thanks for reading, though, and good of you to comment. 
 
JR. Hello. 'Beautiful' I'm pleased you found it so and that it is worth the read(s).  
 
Phil. Maybe I was concentrating on the rhyme and forgot the rhythms in those first lines - don't know. Still, you liked. Can't ask for more. Thanks for commenting. 
 
hm

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