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Science Fiction and Fantasy
Hunter (Partial)
By redwolf
27 September 2005
I'm still working on this and am only going to give a partial because i'd like a little feedback as to whether or not there is potential :-).  I can't really say i'm a writer cause i'm stuck most of the time lol.

There was an echo in the room, or was it in my mind?  It sounded like breathing, as if someone was sleeping and I wondered who was.  I hadn't had a lover in some time so I knew it wasn't one of my dates.  My friends had said that I should settle down, stop wandering and find something, someone permanent but there was never that click that I had been looking for.  That special something that flashes through your body like a trail of fire left behind by a simple touch.  Or a simple glance that made you weak at the knees.  No, there never seemed to be the definite feeling, the realization that this was the one, your soul mate and true love.  I was beginning to think love like that only existed in fairytales, and so instead of worrying about the complexity of love I carried on my search for the one accomplishment in life I did understand.  Which had lately left very little time for my social and love life, but it didn't bother me.  Socialization was not my thing, and it wasn't easy to explain what I did for a living except to summarize myself as a ghost hunter.  And yet it never failed to lighten a party with the quirky "ghostbuster" theory with yours truly as the main character.  Most never took me seriously, others thought it nothing more than "a wild goose chase", an excuse to be lazy.  They then went on to analyse my state of mind, which lead to my leaving the party in anger after telling the guests where to go stick it.
As my mind did a run around of the past I wondered why I couldn't see anything and became even more conscious of the breathing.  It had increased slightly and seemed to be closer.  I also noticed that it was cold because I could feel the goosebumps slowly traveling up my arm.
This strangeness had been happening more often of late and each time it grew more feverish and more real.  I put it down to my imagination even though my job required the imagination's participation.  But there were times when fact defied fiction and I had to get a grip on reality.  This time though, something was different.  I couldn't figure out what or why but my gut was alerting me to take notice.
The breathing was now in my ear and I lay still.  Moving would mean disturbing whatever it was and my chance of catching it.  I had learned from my many mistakes as a novice that you don't get paid for what you don't catch.  And you don't catch what you scare off.  Something I had done more than once and had left me eating like a bird for months.  But I had quickly shaped up and attuned my skills at martial arts and honed my senses.  It had taken a lot of self-discipline that had nearly driven me mad more than once.  The end result, a hunter that would even make a navy seal think twice.  I wasn't too proud of what I had learned and how, but it was necessary.  Something that was also my obsession.  I didn't have time for a nine to five job nor did I have the patience.  And I had to earn my bread someway. One of the reasons why my services have a pretty high fee.
I slowed my heartbeat enough to fake sleep.  The breathing was icy cold and felt like tiny sharp knives stabbing into the cavern of my ear.  It took all my training not to wince.  My muscles tensed, ready to fight at any given moment but they froze the moment I heard it.
"I know you are awake.  I felt your heartbeat quicken when I moved closer, I could smell your blood racing through your veins.  Your body is giving off a very enticing heat, the kind that makes a predator very, very hungry."     
Pulling myself out of the hypnotic shock I seemed to have fallen into, I said in a calm, controlled voice,
"Are you a predator?"
I kept the question short and simple.  There wasn't any point in letting rip with useless words.  It just wasted my time.
The thing laughed and the cold sound sent points piercing directly into my ear.  This time I couldn't stop myself from flinching.  Moving away I figured that this whatever it was wasn't going anywhere.  Its intention was to get my attention, which it certainly had.  I never had a spirit search me out before much less stay once it had been found out.  The scenario had always been the same; I find the spirit, it runs.  Never; spirit finds me and wants to stay for a chat.

Reviews
Potentially rough around the edges.
Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 22nd October 2005
I see great potential but don't be so flamboyent with every sentence. 
Such creativity should be used sparingly to avoid drowning the reader with too many unwanted words. 
Besides that keep at it and you will definitely get there. 
 
:grin  
Rattle dem bones

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