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[untitled but complicated]
By no1butClo
26 December 2007

I wanted to name this "it's complicated" but that's not really what I'm aiming for... thoughts greatly appreciated, and Merry Christmas =)

[Hurrah! I can post in my favourite font!]

N.B. Have changed the line:

"wishing I wouldn't ignore the lack of anything" to:

"wishing I wouldn't ignore the emptiness" - rhythmically it's better, but does it still mean the same to you? please let me know

clo


Nothing is keeping me awake. No-one
is tugging at the corners of my stomach,
making it harder to forget the empty
photo-frame at the back of my mind.

Not a soul is calling mine from the next room
wishing I wouldn't ignore the emptiness
crashing down about our ears, accompanied
not by noise, or dust, or any scrap of evidence

that there was ever nothing there.

Reviews

Written by fellpony (1616 comments posted) 27th December 2007
You're right, it is complicated. I thought stanza one was about a lost lover, but stanza two felt more like a lost child "from the next room". I thought long about "nothing" in the last line, where I had expected "anything" ... but "nothing" is the more telling word, in provoking further thought.  
 
Don't explain, BTW.
negatives
Written by patterjack (1194 comments posted) 27th December 2007
Possibly because of the fact that I am not mathematical , and despite the fact that even old Willy flogged double negatives as if they were going out of existence -- I always have problems with the fact that two negatives are supposed to make a positive. 
 
My personal logic reels before the negatives piled up here , Clo , and I am also having a lively time trying to get from the corners of your stomach to an empty photo frame in your mind . 
 
Contrariwise to the above, however , I enjoyed it . 
 
patterjack
Hello Clo
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 16th January 2008
"wishing i wouldn't ignore the lack of anything" ie wishing I would ignore the lack of nothing - - - yes, this is the line which doesn't make sense - and yet you haven't altered it. Why? I agree with fellpony - the little voice next to my room was always my child - or now, sometimes, a grandchild. 

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