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Poetry


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Rook Tree

By jillrabbit

27 December 2007

Thought I'd have a go at a villanelle.

Dark, cackling devils resting now from flight
Atop the branches, swaying wild and free
While they preen and peck, chatter, caw and fight.

Stamped against the watery, winter light
Rooks ride the blustery, breeze-blown tree
Dark, cackling devils resting now from flight

Satin feathers splay in grace. With great delight
They whirl and flap; a vast cacophony.
While they preen and peck, chatter, caw and fight

Then tired, stop, to settle for the night
Huddled tight, calling out with wicked glee
Dark, cackling devils resting now from flight

Like ruffled surfers, clinging on with fright
Skeletal limbs wave threateningly
While they preen and peck, chatter, caw and fight

At dawn they stretch, touched by the reddened light,
Rise to tell the world hello, noisily.
Dark, cackling devils resting now from flight
While they preen and peck, chatter, caw and fight

Reviews

always a problem...
Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 27th December 2007

...to maintain the form while advancing the ideas

This succeeds pretty well .

Good effort

patterjack

Interesting exercise.
Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 27th December 2007

Thanks pj. i didn't realise how difficult they are to write. It restricts your ideas a bit and I had to resort to writing lists of rhyming words down. Passed the afternoon nicely though!

Devilishly Good
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 28th December 2007

I agree JR - they are quite difficult to get just right but with this I think you have managed to pin the form down very well.
Love the sounds and closely observed traits in these devilish but amusing birds.
'Huddled tight, calling out with wicked glee' - I like the use of the word 'wicked' here - imbues them with an almost supernatural aura.
Well done with this.

hm

hi jill
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 28th December 2007

agree with all that as been said, a good write.
Bernie

Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 28th December 2007

You've got them to a tee, or should that be tree? The repetition at the ends of verses works well.

Very difficult
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 28th December 2007

I have looked at "The Villannelle" and tried to write one myself, and, like the Petrarchan sonnet, they are heavily structured and difficult to write. Whilst I can appreciate the difficulty of writing in a tight structure, I, myself, don't like them. You have done a wonderful job of writing such a difficult poem Jill. Congratulations.

Thanks
Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 28th December 2007

Thank you hm, Bernie, audrie and Josie.

It makes it all the more fun to write for an audience. All comments appreciated; I have found it very constructive and motivating.

Happy New Year to all!

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