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Poetry
Home Song
By hutmaster
28 December 2007
One of Nature's miracles is the return of the salmon to its spawning ground.

It muscles through long fins
this catch in the spine that’s home.
Across wide seas particles in breeze
assist, insist the trail is found
to natal rivers.
Three thousand miles out the pouting
mouth tastes home in the rain,
home in the brain,
home in flexed bones, speckled skin,
in coiled clouds spitting homewaters
on ocean swell;
casts the smell of a thousand
rivers while only one will do.
Song of home ripples on scales
ancient as river beds,
familiar as the redd,
the hatching ground that
wills them back to sow
seed, to spawn,
to round out life,
die spent in the scent
of home.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6951 comments posted) 28th December 2007
I was a little thrown with the first two lines of this but felt much more comfortable as I read on. Read a few times now and whatever it is you're trying to get across in the first two doesn't work - for me, at least. 
 
The rhythms in lines 6-12 were very strong, but somehow (again, for me) didn't seem to fit the feel of the piece. 
 
Remember - comments from a rank amateur when it comes to poetry. Just a response. 
 
Phil.

Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 28th December 2007
Agree with Phil about the first two lines. It needs to be read a few times to try to find the rhythm, but I didn't really find it. I did like the last nine lines, though.

Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 28th December 2007
I read it aloud to myself. Love the use of words and some clever internal rhymes. For me, the rhythm seemed to fit with the urgency of the in-built programming of the salmon, striving to return. 
 
jr

Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 28th December 2007
Those problematic opening lines are meant to suggest that the animal has no choice the matter. Its bones, its DNA contain the combination of eons worth of information which, when the time comes to return, allow the fish no say in the matter. 
Thank you Phil, audri and jr.  
 
hm

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