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Progress Reversed. A Staccato Song. |
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By patterjack
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28 December 2007 |
Progress Reversed.
A staccato song
Clear a way with axe or saw.
Upgrade to caterpillar tractor.
Clear a way with bayonet and sword.
Upgrade to Kalaznikhovs and Uzis .
Posture and strut like political floozies.
Sharpen the undiplomatic word.
Build a nuclear reactor.
You too can make a better war.
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Written by Phil (6681 comments posted) 28th December 2007 | I wondered what a staccato song was before I read this - but now I know. No explanations needed.
An unpleasant but affecting read.
Phil
| Arresting
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3329 comments posted) 28th December 2007 | Even in such a powerful work as this that last line stands out as the ultimate obsenity, and the disturbing thing is I'm sure there are politians and soldiers who would use that phrase.
Controlled anger can be so affecting. A stinging indictment of those who wage war. Did you know you were going to end with that line? It would have been good without it but it's addtion makes it such a special work
Jane | Like Topsy...
Written by patterjack (1175 comments posted) 28th December 2007 | .. It just growed , Jane. Began with lines 1 and 2 jumped to line 7 and the rest just happened
Thanks , folks , for the comments
patterjack | Fiddling...
Written by patterjack (1175 comments posted) 28th December 2007 | ... and changing back and forth from Mozilla to Safari -- I have managed to muck up the format of the last stanza
I should leave well enough alone ! 
patterjack | I sorted it
Written by fellpony (1600 comments posted) 29th December 2007 | Apologies, the GW editor is such a Space Cadet, Brian.
Interesting rhyme structure.
Not sure the thought sequence works for me all the way through - caterpillar tractor preceding axe and sword puzzled me quite a bit.
A fantastic last line. | Hi
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 29th December 2007 | a very good, interesting write.
Bernie | Big jumps in logic
Written by patterjack (1175 comments posted) 29th December 2007 | But a distilled theory of the history of humans
An old thesis to begin : once the land is cleared and can support other than dispersed hunting communities , industrialisation seems almost inevitable. Community then clashes with community , ever seeking ultimate power and the ultimate weapon.
patterjack
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