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By hutmaster
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30 December 2007 |
I wonder if the cat has forgiven me for interfering.
Old cat worrying a twig.
Idle a while, I watched the
sleek, lithe killer toss the stick
with twitching concentration when
birds and bees and windborne seeds,
might satisfy her more.
Busily and bossily she gathered to
pounce.
It moved;
the twig stood up,
I rubbed my eyes,
it swayed;
the twig danced tiny circles.
A hawkmoth caterpillar (I found out)
camouflaged and beautiful
with big false eyes
defied the puzzled cat.
I scooped
her prize, disturbing her grim pleasure,
set it deep in willowherb,
then wondered;
whose nature was best served?
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Written by Lizzy (790 comments posted) 30th December 2007 | I like this.
Some very good descriptions, liked 'busily and bossily'.
You make a good point about whether we should interfere.
I tried to make a cat drop a beautiful dragonfly once, it just ran off with the insect held even tighter in its mouth.
Lizzy |
Written by Fledermaus (3248 comments posted) 30th December 2007 | If humans can't even understand humans, how can cats understand them? Of all creatures, humans are probably the most incomprehensible and unlogical. If I were the cat I would think you wanted to eat it yourself  | Idle a While
Written by embro (126 comments posted) 31st December 2007 | I liked the approach you took with the subject and your novel ending. We have a cat (ginger tom) and he likes to chase butterflies, but he is too slow and never seems to catch them !
Nice read.
embro | Grim pleasure
Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 31st December 2007 | Just like a cat. They like to play; but more, they like to play with living things. Mine have decimated the mouse and vole population where we live!
| hm,
Written by audrie (451 comments posted) 1st January 2008 | Loved this poem. I had a hawkmoth once in my garden, they are huge things compared to the usual subjects! And I loved their big 'eyes'.
It was near the back patio and, as I had two cats at the time, I gently moved it, still on its twig, to the front garden where there was a lot of shrubbery.
To my amazement, the next day, it was back in place. I went and looked in the front garden but it had gone. Was it the same one? It is the only one I have ever seen, so I think it was.
As for interfering in Nature's ways, I have to. I cannot see a cat with a bird, or a mouse, without trying to save it. |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 1st January 2008 | Exactly like a cat, JR. Ours are great but they too bring a lot of small wildlife to the door and that saddens me.
Hi Audrie. Yes. We try to save the wildlife too but usually are too late to revive the little creatures. I think the shock kills them. It's a balance between affection for the cats and realising that their natural instincts are still predominant in their genes.
Thanks for reading this and commenting. |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 2nd January 2008 | Hello,
Once again, previous critiques concentrate on the content of the piece, rather than the form - or congratulate the content and disregard the form.
There's no doubt this is a poem; despite its appearance - yes, verse form, but prose (on the surface).
But READ it and there are wonderful evocations - 'sleek, lithe killer'. 'Birds and bees and windborne seeds' has a beautiful rhythm to it, savoured on the tongue, and has the added benefit of a hidden half-rhyme.
The only suggestion I might make would be that you made 'her prize,' a line on its own, just to delay the reader minimally.
A lovely piece, worthy of congratulation.
PTV |
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