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By Fledermaus
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31 December 2007 |
Posting this on a British forum  I heard a story somewhere that her heart survived... Blessed by the Saints The sword of God A fair maiden rode Auburn curls, iron Fought a holy war Liberated France Courage unmatched The knights followed her Last of the great Franks Times were changing Feudal times gone The heroine caught Accused of witchcraft Of wearing men's clothes Consumed by fire But her heart untouched A holy relic Of Saint Jeane d'Arc |
Stylish!
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 31st December 2007 | Liked this, Fledermaus! Although you've chosen to use short, punchy lines as opposed to the longer 'iambic pentameter' often associated with heroic verse, I thought this had a "heroic verse" feel to it.
The short, punchy lines almost felt like hammer blows, and fr me they were VERY effective.
It couldn't have been a writer (  I HOPE!! ) but I read a question [which seemed to be a SERIOUS question!] on a BBC Message board last week, in which the writer was asking what the connection was between "Joan of Ark" [sic] and NOAH......  |
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 31st December 2007 | Thanks Bagheera. Err. they both believed in God?
Strange isn't it: She was killed because she was accused of heresy and now she is a Roman Catholic saint... |
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 31st December 2007 | To answer the question above: There has never been anyone called Joan of Ark who had anything to do with Noah in the old testament story. The girl who you are talking about was called Joan of Arc or, in French, Jeanne d'Arc. It is just a silly joke, but having said that I heard that quite a large proportion of people believe she was Noah's wife - because of their ignorance. Her father was called Jacques d'Arc.
May I ask a question though: What does "Auburn curls, iron" mean? What connection is there between soft auburn hair and "iron"? To be awkward though, I didn't like your short jerky lines, Fledermaus. I'd rather you had written this more as an epic poem. But that's only my preference, it seems. I would rather that you had enlarged on the story for your audience.
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Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 31st December 2007 | Hi Josie,
Oh ark, with a k. Now I get it :D
Hm yes, weird phrase I suppose. I meant to contrast her auburn hair to the iron of her armor, but it didn't seem to fit :-/ The lines are to short indeed, I guess. Might perhaps write some prose about it once I have done a little more research. |
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 2nd January 2008 | History in verse - if only they'd have had that when I was at school.
(I don't think they'd have let French men 0r women on the ark anyway.  )
Phil. |
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 2nd January 2008 | Thanks Phil.
Nah, Noah and his clan weren't French.  |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 2nd January 2008 | Fledermaus,
Sorry, but this is something that says nothing; not because it 'says' nothing, but that the author has strung the words of an idea together in a disconnected way. Sparsity is only effective when the meaning is accentuated; for me, your sparsity here has undone your ideas.
Sorry, but NEEDS MORE WORK!
PTV |
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 2nd January 2008 | Thanks Pete.
Guess I'd better stick to seven syllables than five then. It seemed indeed a bit hard to put the necessary information into it. |
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