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Poetry
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Tongue tied
By punchy
02 January 2008
Found this in my diary, was obviously having a bad day!



Tongue tied and awkward
I try to converse
But I trip and I stammer
I need to rehearse

My knowledge is sparse
And with minimal words
I'll choose to stay silent
remain under heard

The subjects around me
They speak with such ease
Their audience captured
They nod and agree

But I'll just keep quiet
And sit on the brink
For nobody needs
To know what I think

Reviews

Written by Phil (6951 comments posted) 2nd January 2008
There's something here that's very familiar. Perhaps we all shy away from expressing ourselves at times - lack of confidence etc. It's easy online, but in real life, face to face, often the loudest and most assertive are listened to instead of the considered and quiet.  
 
Some squeezing of meaning to fit the scheme: 
under heard 
The subjects around me 
 
Phil

Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 2nd January 2008
Punchy, 
Agree entirely with Phil - you are tackling a sensitive subject here, with panache. 
This is one of those pieces of verse which would benefit from much closer concentration - you have broached a difficult subject and brought it into the open; people like myself are ignorant of, and shy away from, precisely the uncertainties you describe. 
To cut to the chase - the last line of stanza two may, as Phil says, be better 'underheard'. Stanza three is really quite weak, particularly at the end. Stanza four is fine; although we KNOW what you think! 
PTV

Written by Fledermaus (3470 comments posted) 3rd January 2008
Somehow I noticed shyness has little to do with eloquence or knowledge. Some people can just ramble on about nothing, while others have a tremendous knowledge, but are just silent. 
 
Liked this poem a lot.
Been there
Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 3rd January 2008
This reminds me of being a teenager on the outside of the 'in' crowd. Wanting to take part but not having the words. The feeling of being on the brink of joining in but waiting too long and missing the moment. 
Think your poem conveyed those feelings very well. 
 
jr 

Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 3rd January 2008
Yes, I agree with jr, this takes me back to my childhood when I was dreadfully shy.  
Tongue tied
Written by embro (126 comments posted) 3rd January 2008
I think we all have the odd day such as this !  
A nice work which uses words economically yet speaks volumes. I like ! 
all the best 
embro

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