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By hutmaster
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03 January 2008 |
Sometimes it's good to see the Library's edgy silence unexpectedly disturbed.
Dusty silence drops slow
on word-thick walls of wheezy quiet.
An enthusiastic bookmover drones
in stolid tones; some modest
incident by Middle English.
Polite titterings precede snide sneers,
customers mix Marlow and Marlowe;
private jokes on the public service.
Until, along comes Johnnyboy,
thick lips cracked in dumb smile,
slobbering, speaking overloud
Good Mornings to his ignoring public.
Spies the Mannerly Miss in mid joke
And says, - I,m Johnnyboy, who are you?-
Fluid panic prickles Mannerly Miss
who hisses at the Johnnyboy- shoosh!
He smells her, leers closer.
The uncomplicated crowding he enjoys
with all the other boys
is out of place in the learned space.
She runs for staffroom sanctuary.
Johhnyboy forgets her,
scratches where he itches. |
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Very funny
Written by punchy (500 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | I enjoyed this especially the last line.And the word thick walls of wheezy quiet line.
I always struggle taking my daughter to the library as she speaks ten times louder than everyone else in her age group(4) and in whsmiths yesterday she announced her noony was itching very loudly and half the shop were giggling by the time we left.
Paula |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | I, too, spend a certain amount of time in libraries, and your descriptions are spot on, by and large.
'Dusty silence drops slow' has an awkward feel to it, in mho, but rearranged it can be too prosy/prosaic - 'dusty silence slowly drops', or 'slowly dusty silence drops', and has overtones of something else knocking around in the back of my mind - possibly 'splendour falls ....' etc.
Giving positive feedback to every new posting is my worthy aim, but whether I shall sustain it indefinitely is arguable. And it is immensely difficult to suggest 'improvements', as this is going beyond the pale, really.
Overall, I like it.
PTV |
Written by audrie (451 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | This was very amusing as I could see the embarrassed anxiety of the Librarian.
Shows how people judge each other by outer appearance!
Well written. |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | | Funny piece and well described. Could almost smell the crumbling pages of old manuscripts. On the other hand, when visiting the library of the Celtic Department, we often used to talk loud and laugh, in order to scare away all those annoying Law students who claim desks at our library. They were just as much out of place in our library as Johnnyboy is in yours. |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | I think the simplicity in the reading probably hides a level of work in the writing. I liked this very much. It captured a place, a moment, a couple of characters, made me smile and took me back to the school library. If poetry is about pushing buttons - you did it.
Phil | Johnnyboy
Written by embro (126 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Your piece gave me a nice smile... You have used some good expressions and descriptions. I like it !
All the best
embro |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Paula. Yes, children seem to choose their moment for such intimate announcements with an almost uncanny sense of misplaced timing.
PTV, thank you for the comments. I applaud your intention but fear it may be an impossible ambition. It is difficult to find the positive in some postings and reckon that 'least said soonest mended' might be a more realistic approach. However, good of you to find something in this worthy of comment.
Hi audrie. I think there is an extra frisson of embarrassment which comes when its obvious the silent witnesses are relishing every moment.
Fled. I agree - sometimes those walls of imposed quiet are crying out to come tumbling down.
Accurate reading, Phil. 'Johnnyboy' I imagined as a 'challenged' adult whose under-developed social skills mark him in all situations; more so in this.
hm
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Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Hi embro. Our posting just crossed. Thank you for the read and that the atmosphere came across in your reading.
hm |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Me? Accurate reading? Of poetry? There's a first (ish)
Made my night.
Phil. |
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