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Things my mother taught me :-) |
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By Carly
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03 January 2008 |
Things my mother taught me,
will always forever apply,
like how to clean the kitchen,
and never stop to cry.
To hold onto your apron,
when baking and making soup,
to never turn the T.V. on,
when you could be reading a book.
To hold your head up high,
and always wear your mask,
most importantly never ask why,
and always have a task.
Whats for you will never go past you,
and take each day as it comes,
to trust the love thats inside too,
and always have some chums.
To seek out answers on your own,
but never be afraid of help,
and try your hardest not to moan,
it really sounds like a yelp!|
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | | Carly - I don't think you've got to grips with things on GW. You have posted your verse in the author's introduction. Also, I think your poem, which has lots of potential, would be so much nicer if you set it out line by line as a poem, with the verses divided. It would make it easier to read. By the way, welcome to Great Writing. | Thanks Josie
Written by Carly (9 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Hi - thanks for the comments, I have revised, and hope it easier to read now.
Thanks for the welcome too!  |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Good poem. Almost seems I hear my ex-GF talking. Her standard expression was "don't squeak", where "squeek" stood for complaining, moaning etc...  Yet I guess there is truth in it. |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Good to see another lazy writers contribution. Perhaps we'll have enough for an anthology after all.
Odd, I teach my children that the most important question is why - but I have to admit that as a parent, it's one of the more taxing questions.
Time for bed now. Why? Because it's late and you've school in the morning. Why does that make any difference? etc etc ad nauseum.
Phil. |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 3rd January 2008 | Hi, Carly,
Like (perhaps?) you, I'm a newcomer, and struggled with the posting page. But seem to have the hang of it now.
There's a community here, who have made me very welcome in my first week, and it's all about give and take.
I've been taken to task today for using clichés (and rightly so), and I think you'll find some in your own piece; but of course, that's what mothers do, talk in clichés.
Hope to see more of your work here.
PTV
| HI Carly
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | | Welcome to the site. I like your poem and think you have covered a lot of information about your mother. My mother was a great one for insisting on wearing an apron too. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | I thought this a sweet bit of verse. It's funny how it is often the small, quotidian things that stay with you. I guess they are the things that form the basis of character in the end. It's a thoughtful piece of work, and I think the structure and rhyming scheme you gave it worked well and added to it's stength.
jane | Sweet and Simple
Written by Amelia (30 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | I agree with Jane; I think this is very sweet. It reminds me of something you'd pass down through generations, a sort of tribute to older, simple knowledge.
Amelia |
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