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By jammycarrot
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04 January 2008 |
This one is another one that was written a long time back, but is still one of the ones that i love the most. it's been tweaked and twisted more than any poem i've ever done, so I want to see what you all think of this and if anyone thinks there are still some small things that could be better.
Many thanks, James
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Stupid,
I'm nothing worthy,
I'm a total prat.
I deserve nothing more than I get,
I suck.
And yet,
You still always call me to see if I'm ok,
And good,
And getting on alright.
You treat me like a human,
An equal, someone worthy of your worry.
And I wonder why,
Where did I gain your respect,
How do you still care about me,
Since when I have deserved all this?
And then it strikes me.
You call because you care,
And worry,
And think that I deserve someone to talk to.
And I realise that I am spoilt,
Because nobody else in this world,
Has ever had a better friend
Than you. |
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Written by Phil (6681 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | A difficult piece to comment on, James. So personal to you, it seems a little rude to intrude. I wonder if that is why you like it so much - its personal nature.
A little too black and white for me - but then this is all about your perception, noot mine. Back to where I started - very hard to comment on.
Phil. |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | Entirely agree with Phil; the very personal poems that come out of heartache are difficult for other people to totally empathise with. If you want to see some famous heartbreak poetry read some W.B.Yeats, who was in love all his life with Maud Gonne, who rejected him. "When You Are Old", if you can locate a copy of this.
You might find it somewhere on google.
PTV |
Written by jammycarrot (50 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | it's surprising you all thing its a personal poem. Obviously i had someone in mind when i wrote it and tweaked it, however, i thought it was pretty generic in a way.
Anyone able to relate to it and give me some feedback?
Jam | I will..
Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | |
Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | Oops, pressed the wrong key!!
I liked this one because I could see some positive emotions in it. We all need a friend who will care, no matter what. Damn lucky if we have one!
I don't read it as personal but I think people tend to see it that way when you use first person ( and in view of your other posts)
BTW I will reply to your questions on other post but am still thinking about it. (and I drove up to Birmingham today, so have been offline)
jr |
Written by jammycarrot (50 comments posted) 5th January 2008 | cheers jill. Like i said, this is one of the ones that has been tweaked and twisted to death, so i'm hoping there aren't too many point that can be picked up on it. But every little helps (as tesco's say, god I hate that company, although i would be biased, i live in the only postcode in england that doesnt have a tesco)
anyway, i'll quit rambling, and write an anti-tesco poem instead.
Jam |
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