This is my first poem that I've posted on GW. It was written some time ago after I was taken to a "meeting" by a close friend. Lets just say after we left, I looked at her in a totally different way than I had before. It's written in the first person because I wanted to convay the emotion that was felt in the room. But it pretty much speaks for itself.....
We are the young and proud.
We march the streets with our fist held high.
We march against intolerance and inequality.
We march while the fascist bulldogs watch us and wait to attack.
We march with the thought that one day; this nation will be as red as blood.
For we are the young and proud.
We are the young and proud.
We shout with the voice of a thousand Armies.
We shout for the one who has died without a name.
We shout to shatter this facade that is America.
We strive to create one nation, one people, one destiny.
Our utopia.
For we are the young and proud.
We are the young and proud.
We stand strong, strong enough to fight this battle!
All the way to its bloody end.
Together we shall topple this "happy nation".
We shall bring this great giant to it's knees. This eagle shall soar no more!
For we are the young and proud.
We are the young and proud.
We stand strong!
Soldiers of fortune.
Can you not hear our words?
We shall chant them, scream them.
Scream till the world goes deaf!
We shall march.
The streets will be as red as blood!
This is for the people, for the greater good, and for mankind!
For we're so young and proud!
For we are the young and proud......
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Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | There are many questions I would like to ask you re your subject material. Hope you don't mind. Young and proud - what is the connection? Older people stand up for what they think is right too and are proud. Older people have fought for their country with pride. There is no connection between age and pride. What are soldiers of fortune? The "the fascist bulldogs watch us and wait to attack." - who are they? Next "We shout for the one who has dies without a name." (died). Who is this? I would like to comment more on your poem, but find it difficult without knowing what exactly you are talking about. Perhaps something in prose, explaining this might help. Perhaps I'm the only one who hasn't understood, but I see you have not yet had reveiws, so perhaps there are others.
| This gave me goosebumps...
Written by Amelia (36 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | This was an intensely powerful piece. I may not agree with its message, but you convey the emotions wonderfully. This poem has an identity and a voice, and both are very strong.
Amelia |
Written by jillrabbit (57 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | Like Josie it raised many questions for me. I would like to know more about the meeting.
Knowing a little about the turmoil in America at the moment, so little of which gets reported in mainstream press, I liked the lines
'We shout to shatter this facade that is America'
and
'We shall bring this great giant to its knees'
I would like to think that there were people who could fight the corrupt hierarchy that reigns at the moment and win.
jr |
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | As a piece of writing, this certainly has some power behind it. Almost like an anthem, the repetitions serve to strengthen the message.
As for the message, while unclear in the writing, and I suspect deliberately so, the fascism and arrogance of assumed truth shines through loud and strong. Were I nineteen years old, I'd probably identify with this much more strongly. As I creep into middle age, it's not just my hair that's turning grey - my opnions on most things are neither black nor white, just a dirty shade inbetween.
Phil | More polemic than poetry
Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | Sorry , but in this I foresee torchlight parades leading to mindless violence. At my advancd age I have seen so many causes that are morally defensible on their beginning become corrupt .
If you feel so strongly , I suggest that you get down to the nitty gritty because this piece is , in the end , divorced from reality . Forget the mantras -- express that feeling as a thing in itself -- don't just talk about it or chant about it in the abstract.
If you refer to injustices in a system , show them by examples in all their grim realities -- a much more effective way of rectifying them than sounding like a cheerleader at a sporting event
I think I am aware that much that lies behind what you have written is indeed morally defensible -- I just don't like the way it is expressed .
patterjack
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Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | I wanted to see what the others made of this first before I reacted, as I am a bit ambiguous in my opinions on this one. it shows a rather scary picture that reminded me of certain youth movements in 20th century history. Your youths cry out against fascists, but their aggression, dangerously simple solutions, political cants and thirst for destruction seems to resemble that of certain street gangs that roamed Europe in the 1920s and 30s...
I wonder if it matters wether their political colour is black, brown, red or green... such destructive energy usually seems to lead to dystopia rather than utopia.
A powerful and frightening read. |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | I suspect that what people are overlooking here is that the writer is on the outside; not on the inside. It is the writer who is outraged at the polemic; at the repetitive slogans, which are so powerful in the mouths of the agitators, and which - somehow - become mantras to the masses.
For the masses are the people in their own right; and yet they can be led by insistent oratory.
To step away from the politics - and to come to the writing. Very, very powerful. The repitition of the first and last lines in each stanza is indicative of how the writer acknowledges the power of the spoken word, and reproduces it here as a dogma.
I may be naive - but this piece is a piece AGAINST violence. Am I wrong?
The worrying thing is that this reproduces itself generation after generation; the oppressed raising their voices, ultimately to become the oppressors, and finally to sink back into oppression.
The closed circle is no more than a box.
PTV | Hi
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 5th January 2008 | a powerful piece of writing and a well written piece,
as for a deeper de-construction of the piece I will leave that to others.
Bernie |
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