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By Rattle_Spear
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01 October 2005 |
This is dedicated to all my unknown and anonymous female fans of the Universe My subconscious is playing tricks on my soul This sensation is on a daily roll In the distance and silence of the morn My deep sleep and dreams are torn Apart by female voices so young Offering me pleasure, passion and fun Who is playing all these tantalizing tricks Or are they just my daily ""wake up"" fix I will have to go out and investigate Before the calls of excitement are too late I must say it is a mortal thrill I know that I am in demand...still!
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Written by Missinginaction ( comments posted) 9th October 2005 | I don't think this is as good as your other recent contribution: the rhymes are forced, it's full of cliches and I think you could rewrite it in a more original way with a bit of effort. Sorry, but it doesn't make it for me. Remember these comments are about the writing, not you personally! Thanks for the read. - Missing |
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