So a few things I have written were inspired by dreams I've had. Again, this one is an oldie but also one I'm fond of :)
And they're not all so 'dark', I promise.
A blanket of darkness falls over me,
Gives me a chance to rest- a chance not to be,
Covers these eyes that don't want to see,
Lets this mind slip into insanity; -
Winding staircases, narrow & dark,
A muted guide of no remark.
Faceless portraits upon one wall,
Handless arms held lest we fall.
Long halls of shadows we travel down.
All that was offered - a simple frown,
When asked of where it is we go,
& where we went, I still don't know.
A room so small, a world itself,
Restless books upon the shelf.
A young man upon a chair,
Speaks to one that never was there.
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Written by Fledermaus (3470 comments posted) 4th January 2008 |
Interesting. Dreams can be very strange and very inspiring. As I can hardly interpret my own I won't try to analyze this  Nice poem. |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 4th January 2008 |
I must preface my remarks by saying that I do not like dream poems. I had a friend once who insisted on telling me each school morning of his unconscious escapades in the dream realm the previous night and that may have biased my view of them since. Or dream prose - don't like that either.
The rhymes seem forced in this 'muted guide of no remark' for instance. I presume this means a silent companion but feel that it may have been more eloquently expressed.
Maybe reworking it into a short story would help (despite my own aversion to them.) I'm sure there is something here which could be presented in a more...acceptable form but for me it just doesn't work.
hm |
Written by Hellcat (63 comments posted) 4th January 2008 |
Hey Hutmaster,
I must admit, I agree with your statement of it being forced. This is was maybe silly to have converted to a poem yet I'm sure we all get those intense compulsions to release whatever image/phrase plagues us.
It was kinda like an itch - this is the result of that particular thing that wouldn't leave me alone.
I still like the "muted guide of no remark". But that's because I 'knew' that person in my head - he was a simple guide that wouldn't speak, - he was 'of no remark' because he was a plain character with no defining charcteristics.
However (boy, is this a long post  ), I do like the idea of a short story version - a future project, perhaps? |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 4th January 2008 |
Hi Hellcat. Yes. The short story route might work, and there's no need to let the reader know that it's a dream. You say that you 'knew' the silent guide - well why not make the muted one a central character in the tale. Why is he silent? How does he communicate? What is his role? Is his plain character a guise for something deeper, more intriguing? And this intense compulsion you speak of; you might incorporate that obsessiveness into the story.
Give it a go. If not you - who?
As I said, I do feel there is a story there waiting to come out. Go ahead and write it.
All the best,
hm
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Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 4th January 2008 |
| Last October it was National Poetry Day and the subject was: Dreams. Where were you? Not posting on this website then for sure. I wrote a poem for children called Dreaming of Monsters and one for adults called My Dream. The children at the local school told me that they all have dreams about monsters. ha ha. (5 and 6 year olds). My own nightmares are usually the same (see My Dream), The guests have been turning up again this week and nothing prepared. Then the other dream is also of the dusty passages and even dustier rooms which are linked to our house. Very strange isn't it? Your poem was well written and thought provoking for sure. |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 4th January 2008 |
In a strange sort of way this brought to mind Walter de la Mare & 'The Listeners'.
For I think that must have been a matter of the subconscious mind, as well; which is what dreams are, of course.
PTV |
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