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Poetry
HIS gift
By aparajitha
07 January 2008
Padded he came to me,
His eyes twinkling like stars,
With zeal to see,

With array of hopes,
He smiled at me,
But his body groped
To be free

His face was as bright as sun,
Throwing fresh hopes to those,
Who have none.

Truly, he is HIS gift
To me,
From which I never want to drift



Reviews

Written by jammycarrot (50 comments posted) 7th January 2008
The story/moral/meaning of the poem is good, although I do think it could be extended more. Although a bit of mysterty and readers imagination is a good thing, I feel that the reader is being made to do far too much work. 
 
As a great believer in non-conforming poetry, I'm going to sound like a hypocrite here, but the poems flow was lost in the third verse. The 3 lines worked for me in the first verse, but didn't in the third. 
 
It definately has promise, and is well worth working on. 
 
Jam

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