READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 697 guests online and 2 members online
Poetry
Waffle
By jammycarrot
07 January 2008
A very me poem this one, one of the less serious ones.

Hope you all like it!

:)

Jam

Waffle,
It comes in two types;
Potato or verbal.
Criss-crossed and crispy
Toneless and dead.
Who cares if your axioms
Contradict your theorem?
Or if conflict can be avoided
If we share our drawing pins with Mr Jones next door?

All I care about,
Is that I've got no sauce for my waffle...

Reviews

Written by punchy (533 comments posted) 7th January 2008
Very funny. x

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 7th January 2008
You seem to have a knack for clever ideas, which are then blighted by your final lines. Try not to give so much weight to the finishing lines of your pieces- an ending which is trying too hard to be clever can ruin the rest of a piece.

Written by jammycarrot (50 comments posted) 8th January 2008
Gutterkitty - How exactly do you think my final line should go then? The whole point of these poems, or any joke, is for the punchline.

Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 8th January 2008
Not for me - this is too lightweight, really. A bit of cod philosophy striving for a punchline. Sorry. 
PTV

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item