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Following yesterday’s announcement that the Welsh will soon have a Commissioner for Older People, it has been decided that England should follow suit. Elderly people will be defined, though, as being people over the age of 100 years, taking into account the fact that people are living longer.
The new Commissioner, Mr Harold Hoary, said: “A civilised country is judged by the way it treats its old folk. Instead of the winter fuel allowance being given to retired people as we do today, we are proposing that everyone over the age of 100 years will be sent to The Canary Islands for the whole of the winter period, ie from October until the end of April. This way everyone will be kept warm, as well as being encouraged to take up regular swimming and walking."
Special hotels are to be kept available for all of these people and carers for the elderly will be sent with them. Whilst there they can enjoy the facilities of the excellent dental practices, health spas, fitness gyms and hospitals – all paid for by this Government. Computers are to be made available, with internet connection, so that people who are already enjoying such things as internet dating, bingo online, online lottery, creative writing groups, (especially the Great Writing website), can continue with these hobbies whilst there.
It is to be hoped that this move will lead the way to all European countries following suit. Help the Aged welcomed this move, but added that it would be nice if soon the age could be lowered to include everyone over the age of 60 years and perhaps extend the length of stay to permanancy. This would then make way for the younger generation who wished to find affordable housing in the UK and the freeing up of hospital beds in the NHS. |
Written by Phil (6738 comments posted) 7th January 2008 | Would you believe I received a letter today inviting me for a look around a retirement village with a view to buying a property there. Cheeky buggers. I'm forty years old.
I'd be up for six months in the sun. If I stay in Bolton, by the time I'm 100, I might have amassed six months.
Fun piece Josie.
Phil | LUXURY HOLIDAY HOTELS IN ------ BOLTON?
Written by Josie (2796 comments posted) 8th January 2008 | | By the time you are 100, and well before that too, Phil, the people from Tenerife will be queueing to come to Bolton. When global warming really takes over, it will be so hot everywhere else that Bolton will be on every holiday brochure. Are you ready for the invasion? Already I have an annual queue of visitors from Italy who come to our home for August because it is unbearably hot there, they tell me. |
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 8th January 2008 | This had me chuckling from the very first paragraph - and as for Mr.Harold Hoary!
Thanks - perhaps you should send it to "The Oldie".
Seriously - there's gold in them thar hills.
Pete |
Written by Lizzy (806 comments posted) 8th January 2008 | Yes a fun piece, enjoyed it.
What gets me are the people who phone asking if we need a stair lift! Although with my reduced mobility at the moment it might be useful.
Lizzy | You Know It Makes Sense to get Old!
Written by Josie (2796 comments posted) 8th January 2008 | | Thanks for your reviews. Actually, it makes a great deal of sense. We go to Tenerife during the winter and there are the same people who go there year after year, for longer and longer. It gives regular work for the people there who need it, and it certainly cuts the cost of winter heating here. I know of many who go there for dental treatment, replacement hips and knees etc whilst on holiday. All those who were fighting against each other in the war are now enjoying themselves together, doing pool exercises followed by Spanish lessons or table tennis. (There's always room to introduce a poetry writing class. Now how much should I charge them?) In the evening we are learning each other's languages as at the parrot shows etc. They repeat themselves in three languages: Spanish, German and English (but no Italian for me). Instead of sitting at home looking at the rain, we are all out walking along the promenades and gardens in temperatures nicely placed at about 21-24 degrees centigrade, and sitting at pavement cafes chatting. You know it makes sense to get old. ha ha | Just one drawback ...........
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 8th January 2008 | ....... to take advantage of the new Government scheme , applicants will have to produce a document signed by BOTH PARENTS, giving them permission to go on an unaccompanied holiday ....   | Hi Josie
Written by jean.day (2286 comments posted) 12th January 2008 | Oh, to be 100. You make it sound so tempting. I have spent a few very pleasant holidays in the Canaries and can think of nothing nicer than trading our wet and windy winters for some of their soothing sun. Unfortunately I have a husband who could think of nothing worse, so we stay where we are in the winter.
I really enjoyed this Josie, and hope you enjoy your time there. You could take up bridge you know, if you get bored. |
Written by Fledermaus (3321 comments posted) 19th January 2008 | | Not even such a bad solution. Although I would advocate closer family ties instead. It's not the government that should look after the elderly; It's their children. | Over 100??!!
Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 31st January 2008 | | He'd have a cushy job in Glasgow, mortality rate's about 60. Enjoyable piece, Josie... just what Southern Spain needs, an influx of elderly British ex-pats. Will their bovril and tea bags be shipped separately? |
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