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Poetry
The Wind Attacks The Chimney Stacks
By petetheverse
08 January 2008

I hadn't originally intended to post this piece, as its vertical format it not the way in which it is ultimately intended to be presented.  However, I hope people find it interesting, and that any comments bear the above in mind.  PTV
Also, have had some difficulty in formatting this to fit these pages here, hence the huge gap at the top.
 










 


THE WIND ATTACKS THE CHIMNEY STACKS


The wind attacks the chimney stacks,
    The fire burns bright, defies the night;

The china rattles in the racks,

    The draught shrieks battle through the cracks;

The night can’t fight a wind in flight.

 

 

    The gutters sing, the downspouts ring;

The fire’s ablaze and draws the gaze;

    The cat purrs loud and stretches, proud.

The candle on the mantle gutters;

    The flame, for just a moment, stutters.

 

 

The wild wind wanes. Beyond the panes

    The branches heave with dripping leaves;

The moon decrees that through the trees

    The skies shall sigh a silent breeze;

The bats weave, black, beneath the eaves.

 

 

    The mouse peers out, with fears and doubt:

The owl is poised. Without a noise

    The owl’s in flight, its prey in sight;

The hunter wheels, the victim squeals;

    The moment’s passed: the death was fast.

 

 

The dawn comes slow; the sun burns low,

    The swirling waters fleck and flow.

The daylight’s weak, the morning bleak,

    The swollen river’s banks are sodden,

The cattle sullen, their fields untrodden.

 

 

    The day grows bright; the sun gains height –

The hawthorn’s stippled with its light;

    The fields are shared by horses, mares,

The foals and pheasants, hawks and hares;

    The hedgerows ripple as birds take flight.

 

 

The crickets strum their noonday drum;

    The heat-haze shimmers; swimmers greet

The cool stream’s glimmer. See – upstream

    The heron dives for the sweetest meat:

The great bird strives; but the trout survives.

 

 

    The dragonfly drones slowly by;

The foxglove lures the butterfly.

    The lark soars high; song fills the sky.

The bees store nectar for their hives;

    The otter surfaces and dives.

 

 

The evening air begins to cool.

   The willows shroud a quiet pool -

The angler knows each hidden ledge.

    The cattle crowd at water’s edge;

The twisting mist drifts through the sedge.

 

 

    The sun seeks rest in the crimson west;

The twilight falls; the nightjar calls;

    The moon’s aloft; the stars shine, soft.

The night brings forth a new-born day

    And Earth rolls slowly on its way.

 

                                 
                                         For Samantha.

Reviews
Pete
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 8th January 2008
I know you don't like reviews that say 'I like this' but I do. 
 
Not being expert at poetry, I can't comment on structure and verse, just know what I like. Sorry!
Hi PTV
Written by embro (126 comments posted) 8th January 2008
Wow !....a quite dramatic and interesting piece which I enjoyed reading. I like much of your wording and the last line of each stanza is good and strong. 
I am not sure that the title is suited to the piece because it is so much more, but that is just being picky !

Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 8th January 2008
Embro - thanks indeed for that - and you may be entirely right about the title; which hadn't occurred to me before, at all. 
PTV 
Have to put on my Rodin pose. 

Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 8th January 2008
A very tasty read, Pete. The verve of words is celebrated in fine style but I think it may be a tad too long. The staccato rhythm sustains well for the first half dozen verses then begins to pall a little. 
Length apart a bouncing read with some fine description. 
 
hm

Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 8th January 2008
HM, 
Yes, a tad too long. 
But it is not designed for the written page, in this sense. It is a turn-a-page children's piece, where an illustration accompanies a scene. The scenes are not full verses; they are just a few words - the cat - the owl - the mouse - the river - the cattle and so on. 
I'm lucky enough to have an illustrator who has brought his own 'eye' to this - his pictures carry the story along even more graphically than the words. 
The words will only appear as a poem at the rear; on two facing pages. 
49 lines begin with 'The'. 
Intentionally. 
Good to talk with someone who has an ear. 
PTV

Written by Fledermaus (3470 comments posted) 15th January 2008
Indeed a bit long. Could have been split in two I think, as there's a clear contrast. Nice poem, with a nice rhyme.

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