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Poetry
On a Winter Shore
By maipenrai
09 January 2008
a flash poem from another site, prompt words are "on a winter shore"


At midnight
we put our gifts of
rice and rice wine,
small coins and prayer cards
aboard the paper mache boats,
we lit the candles
we had placed on board
to help guide them on their
journey to the spirit world
then gently pushed them out to sea.

all along the beech
people stood in silence
offering silent prayers to  our
ancestors, hoping that they
would accept our prayer cards and
humble gifts.

on a winter shore in
Thailand.
.

Reviews
Distant shore
Written by bwoz (125 comments posted) 9th January 2008
I like this topic, but selfishly feel like you've ended it too soon. I would imagine the imagery of the paper boats floating away could transport the character from childhood to present day, and somehow deepen this reflective poem. There seem to be a final sceen that is missing, at least seems like that to me. 
 
But I like it, the child-like quality shows through nicely. 
 
BW
Hi
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 10th January 2008
Bwoz and thank you for your comments. 
Bernie

Written by embro (126 comments posted) 10th January 2008
A very moving piece. I like the way the reader is drawn in to imagine the scene...... and the images linger after you have finished reading. I like !  
Embro
thanks
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 11th January 2008
Embro for your comments. 
Bernie

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