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Great Writing - Home > Short S. > Cloudy Wine and the Seven Dwarves
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| Cloudy Wine and the Seven Dwarves | |
| By deadly-little-terror | ||||||||||
| 10 January 2008 | ||||||||||
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This is basicaly a parody for Snow White and the seven dwarves done by me and 3 of my year 7 friends!! Once upon a time there was a princess called Cloudy Wine. She lived with her dad as her mom had died in the Dwarves Beard Pub. Her mom thought that some death pills in her bag were fresh mints, she never woke up. One day Cloudy Wine wanted to complain to the Dwarves Beard Pub. Unfortunately, she got lost on the way. Suddenly, she heard a junior tooting toot sound that reeked of tackiness. She spun around to see loads of toys 'R' us lorries powering towards her. As a truck with two dwarves inside it careered past, Cloudy Wine sawThat one of the dwarves was continuously leaning over a bucket making funny noises. Suffering from severe shock, Cloudy Wine fainted. Some time later, Cloudy Wine woke up to see seven dwarves leaning over her on a very short bed. "Wake up!" one of them shouted with a megaphone Cloudy Wine stirred and looked at every single dwarf, they were HIDEOUS!!!! "Finally! Good morning Princess, now, may I please ask of what you want?" asked a dwarf wearing a guinness hat. "Ummmmmm....I just wanted to say........ SHAME ON YOU! YOU ALL LET MY MOTHER KILL HERSELF BECAUSE SHE DRANK TOO MUCH IN THIS PUB!" Cloudy Wine was fuming! "THAT WAS TEN YEARS AGO!" a dwarf yelled back. Cloudy Wine lifted herself from the smelly bed and stood at least two feet taller than all of the short people. "So what are your names?" She asked trying to calm herself down. "I'm Tipsy" "I'm Fosters" "I'm Gin" "I'm Cider" "I'm Whisky" "I'm Port" " And this is Sicky" said Tipsy pointing vaguely at a small figure in the corner hunched over a bucket. Sicky lifted his head from his soiled bucket and stared at her with his cold eyes, before plunging his head back into his horrible mess. "Cloudy Wine? Will you work for us? asked ginwho seemed to like her. "Well.....I best get back to my father." she replied. "Him? He died ages ago! You've been in a coma for five years!" "A coma?! Really?! Who's in government?" she asked "Labour" answered the dwarves miserably. With that answer, Cloudy Wine started to work in the Dwarves Beard Pub as her dreams of rulling the world was shattered. Cursed Labour!!! Everyday was consumed by work, drink, work, drink, work, drink, work.....and more drink. Just tomake things worse, Sicky would stare at Cloudy wine from his corner puking into his soiled mess. One day, the dwarves held a conference meeting. Today it was Sicky's turn to ask for what he needed. He only said two words. "Bigger...BUCKET he moaned in his over flowing mess. "Umm...Sicky?" asked Gin "What?!" he moaned angrily in reply. "As we have some...*cough* billing issues... We are going to cut you out and let Cloudy Wine have her needs taken care of " said Tipsy. For once in years, Sicky went into deep thought. He was furious!! He would've thrown chairs out the window, but he was forever strapped to his bucket. Ever since Cloudy Wine came, she was getting all of the attention, even his best friend, Whisky, was ignoring him for Cloudy Wine. Everyday, Sicky tripped Cloudy Wine up and be incredibly rude to her. However, one day, Sicky thought of a mean and clever plan on how to get rid of Cloudy Wine. Sicky started to be really nice to Cloudy Wine and then he offered some Guinness to to her. "Sicky! Are you feeling quite yourself, your being very nice. You usually sit in your corner and say very bad words at me like a***** or a****** or even a****" she cooed sweetly, but astounished. "I-I t-t-turned ummm... over a new leaf!" he stammered with excitment. As Cloudy Wine took a big gulp of the Guinness, Sicky stared at her with red eyes. Suddenly, he plunged his head into his bucket soiling it once more. While Sicky was being sick, he heard a great big *THUD* over the rim of his bucket. "Nibbiling nutmegs! I missed it!" he moaned. Just then, the other six dwarves charged into the room and saw Sicky leaning over Cloudy Wine, crying (because he did get to see her last breath, but no one else knew that). Unexpectedly, a knock came to the door. Gin went to the door and opened it very slightly. Suddenly, Gin flew from the door to the wall in a flash. Blocking the doorway was a very drunk looking man. "I-I-I am Pr*hic*ince Chardonnay *hic* Drunken!" the man slurred."I have *hic* co*hic*me for*hic* my f*hic*air mai*hic*den" The prince leaned over Cloudy Wine and examined her. He looked at everyone suspiciously. "All *hic*she nee*hic*ds is an ant*hic*idote for a sp*hic*iked drink." he said. As Chardonnay uncorked the antidote, Sicky, with one last attempt, threw the containts of his bucket over the astonished prince. However, he was trying to not be sick but failed misarebly and choked on his own vomit and fell to the floor. "SICKY" the dwarves cried. "Why! WHY!!!" The dwarves turned to Cloudy Wine, they were possesed by Sicky's spirit!! "NOW TO FINISH WHAT HAS BEEN DONE!" they chanted. Prince Chardonnay Drunken revealed his sword. "You will*hic* all die be*hic*fore you tou*hic*ch her!!" he bellowed. The dwarves shook out of there possesion and stared bewilderd at Chardonnay's sword. They got the idea and lifted Sicky's body up and ran into the forest never to be seen again. Now that Cloudy Wine's little adventure was over, she got married to Prince Chardonnay Drunken and became Queen,so she did rule the rule after all and lived happily ever after!!! Until she found another more handsome prince, but thats a different story............
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