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The Blue Whale - a factual poem for children |
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By Josie
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15 January 2008 |
I’m the King of the Deep. Ruler of all I survey
Please swim aside. Please keep out of my way.
Proudest of animals, with the speed of a bird
From one hundred miles my voice can be heard.
Yes, I’m Lord of the Ocean, blue whale of the sea
Observe me, admire me, resplendent and free.
Watch me diving and rising and then diving again –
I'm a breath-taking giant with a global domain.
My heart is colossal - I’m streamlined, I’m sleek.
Displaying proudly to all my strength and physique.
Our babies gain weight at ten pounds a day –
And close by our sides for years they will stay.
I’m Lord of the Ocean and King of the Deep –
Taking naps on my journey - I do not need sleep.
Your kings wear their crowns and fine royal robes –
But in my blue mantle of blubber, I circle the globe.
Copyright 2008
www.whiteheadm.co.uk
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Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 15th January 2008 | | I like this one better much than the other one. Only the "please don't kill me" part was a bit of a pity. Kids don't threaten whales and a king shouldn't be pleading for his life. Apart from that, a good poem. | Fledermaus - to put your mind at rest
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 15th January 2008 | | Fledermaus - to put your mind at rest, I've let him forget about being killed. I've let him continue boasting instead you will be happy to know. How does that suit you? Yes, I thought you'd like it. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 17th January 2008 | I think this style is definitely your forte, josie.You do them with such an understated confidence. They seem so simple and easy but they are so well structured and cleverly phrased, perfectly pitched for childrn. You never talk down to them or patronise them but appeal to their sense of fun.
I hope you are planning to publish all your childrens poems. I'm sure it would be a winner
jane | Writing for Children
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 18th January 2008 | | Thanks Jane. It is not at all easy to write well for children, but I do try and I have to tell you that children have told me many times that they love my poems. I find it is easier to write for adults and it is a shame that some people snobbishly think that rhyming and rhythmic poems should be confined to children's pages, for it is quite wrong. I, and many other poets have been told by adults that they like rhyming and rhythmic poems, and if you are writing a fun poem, it adds a dimension to the fun, as the poem becomes halfway to a song. I would confirm what I read: "You must write for children the same way you write for adults, only better." I hope teachers can put poems into the centre of many of their classes, to stimulate discussion and bring out facts rather than just teaching them. Children will remember them better this way, and the above poem is one of many I have written for this very reason. Read it once, and read it the second time, stopping at a fact - and let the children remember it. It's great fun. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 18th January 2008 | With regard to writing poetry that rhymes and scans, I always remember a comment by a poet who said
"Writing blank verse was like playing tennis with the net down" i.e it required no skill and the point was often lost.
Children love that sort of verse,[and so do I] it stimulates and excites them and forces them to concentrate on the words. I like your poetry because you write to communicate not confound, if people think it simplistic, well that's just semantics.The skill and talent that goes into it is equal to any other type of poetry, or prose, for that matter. In writing for children you have chosen the harshest critics but their criticism is honest and agenda free and not governed by any literary snobbery.
You enjoy it and you're good at it, so keep on and I'm sure you will find a publisher
| Thanks Jane
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 18th January 2008 | | Thank you Jane for your kind remarks. At the moment children and their parents/teachers can hear the poems on my website, with voice recordings to help them with their reading, so I haven't looked for a publisher. I'm always open to offers though. |
Written by mosw30987 (17 comments posted) 13th March 2008 | Brilliant work josie 
keep it up  |
Written by mosw30987 (17 comments posted) 13th March 2008 | Cool picture too 
Fareed |
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