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Poetry
The "Lasered" End of the Ball-Point Pen
By TurboWolffe
17 January 2008
A pen from the U.S. National Guard has given me inspiration!  This may turn out to be another Oblivion of the Screensaver moment, so watch out!
Short and concise!

I have found 
A curious friend,
At the end
Of my ball-point pen.
It's a curious button
That you push,
And a red light
Appears in the hush.
It pierces the dark,
And bounces from walls-
It's a moving mark,
And it jitters down the halls!
It reflects from mirrors,
And keys, and silver,
And i can see it behind me,
Reflected almost clearer.
Amazing that it can also write,
And can pierce into the night.
I love truly the "lasered" end
Of my blue, ball-point pen!

Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3470 comments posted) 16th January 2008
Nice one. Inspirational pen that seems.
Well done!
Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 17th January 2008
I love your poem Turbowolffe. You have really got a lot iof good description of the pen into your poem, with good rhythm and rhyme. The only thing you could do to improve it is to get get the same number of beats into each line. For example look at your poem. Each line gets longer. The last line has three beats whilst the first has two. You could easily do something about this, and clap your hands to the rhythm as you write. Oh, and one other small thing. Why not split it up into smaller verses - for breathing space. It's nice to have a young teenager writing for us.

Written by TurboWolffe (98 comments posted) 22nd January 2008
hmm... I'll work on that, thanks guys. it was a national guard pen someon gave me. but my laser has dimmed. my friend at the end of my pen is dwindiling! 
-TW

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