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Poetry
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Low Tolerance
By Carly
19 January 2008

I often wonder

What goes on inside

Where it comes from

I feel bad he has to hide

 

Sometimes hearing

What he says

Makes me cringe

Everything more or less

 

At one moment

When we talk

Is he thinking

Surely he’ll get caught

 

A one toned voiced

With all this detail

I have to shut off

Pretend I’m reading email

 

Really its shocking

Why tell lies

If it were true

I would see it in the eyes

 

I feel sad

For he is seeking

To be within the crowd

Why won’t he stop speaking

     

Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 19th January 2008
Tolerance of what? Don't fully get the meaning of this, yet I imagine there is a good message behind it. The information provided is just too limited.

Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 19th January 2008
Difficult to understand. Are you speaking of someone else who just seems to have bad things going on in his head? Perhaps he needs to go to a psychiatrist and get help. I'm not too sure that this is poetry.
Hi
Written by Carly (9 comments posted) 19th January 2008
Sorry about the difficulty - I should probably write opening statements from now on!!!:-) 
 
This is about a guy, that I used to work with. He was someone who seemed to know everybody (even if they were famous) and everyone was his friend, he had been everywhere and done everything...just really FAKE. 
 
I am sure that everyone has met someone who resembles this type of person. I became intollerant of him, mostly as he worked with me. 
 
Hope it is a bit clearer now :grin

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 19th January 2008
Problem is Carly, it shouldn't really need that much explanation. It's probably a good idea for a piece. Most us know somne kind of jumped up git like the one you describe so there would be a ready audience. This piece lacks clarity and focus. Some lines seem to have been written with rhyme in mind rather than meaning. I'm no expert when it comes to poetry, but meaning, in any form of writing, must come first - even if you want to be obscure. 
 
Not for me. Perhaps with a little more thought this could be shaped into something really good. 
 
Phil.
Hi Carly
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 20th January 2008
Hi Carly
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 20th January 2008
sorry about the last one, I think we all know people like that, bit sad they are. 
 
I go along with what Phil as said here, something to build on here. 
Bernie

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