Poetry
Night
By ErikaRain
21 January 2008


Blue skies and stars
glimmer in the distance
And a full moons rays casting shadows
upon my hand as I write.

Lampposts light the street down below
With nary a soul walking.
A lonely, well-lit street
With cars parked alongside darkly-lit houses.

There’s stillness in the air.
The trees stand tall their leaves
and branches unmoving.
Dogs bark at a distance

As a cock crows,
Thoughts ...
Memories...
Creating a hazy scene of silence .

Reviews

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 21st January 2008
Could be the pedant in me - but blue skies glimmering? 
 
Well-lighted - I kept wanting to read well lit. 
 
Darkly-lit - an oxymoron? 
 
For me, this verges on creating a night scene and atmosphere. The small points above detracted but there's something else that stops the reader engaging fully. I think it might be the use of dated language constructions mixed with more modern things like cars. 
 
Towards the end, the cock crows signifying a passage of time - yet time doesn't seem to be passing in the rest of the piece - just a description of what is. 
 
I'm sure there's more in here somewhere. 
 
Phil.

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